Review: Golden Girl in Pattaya, Thailand (CLOSED)

Thailand is home to dozens of blowjob bars. Pattaya’s Soi 13/2 (also known as Soi Post Office) used to be ground zero for hands-free fun. Now, with the Pump Station limping along on its last leg, the only place left on the street that even deserves a mention is Golden Girl. Located only a few steps away from the Pump Station, Golden Girl appears to at least be making an attempt to maintain some level of service.

If there ever was a “golden age” for Golden Girl, it passed long ago. Even the name of the place conjures up images of women most guys wouldn’t want anywhere near their precious parts for those who remember the old American sitcom (the grannies were entertaining enough, but I sure wouldn’t want them gumming me down). Still, it is a place you can get slurped with little hassle for a few bucks.

The layout of Golden Girl is a lot like the Pump Station. There is an open bar with plenty of seating. It’s rare to see more than a few customers inside. In my experience it’s much more common to see the place totally empty.

Don’t expect to be greeted and welcomed in when you walk by as is common with many other shops of this nature. It could happen but it probably won’t. On my last evening visit there were only two women on staff. One was extremely old and the other was extremely large. It wasn’t clear if the old woman was available, but the big gal definitely was. They are pleasant enough and looks don’t matter as much at a BJ bar as they may elsewhere but this is still a selection that many men would probably walk past. There are other women on staff, but not many.

The rates at Golden Girl are on the high end of the average for a lip service lounge at 800 Baht ($26) a go. Like other bars this is paid after the action is completed, as the punter settles up his tab on the way out. Drinks are available at the usual prices though this isn’t the kind of place I’d hang around to tie a few on. No one would so much as blink an eye at anyone who did but for me there are better places to wet a whistle. Those who want no hassle service at Golden Girl could simply enter and tell the gal of their choosing they’d like to go upstairs.

Upstairs is where all the oral action takes place. On the shops second floor are a few rather large rooms appointed with full beds and televisions. They aren’t the cleanest rooms you’ll find but they aren’t the worst either. They are maintained to a level that allows customers to focus on the fun in front of them instead of worrying about creepy crawlies emerging from dark dusty corners and entering their vacant shoes.

The practice is as you would expect. Bottoms are removed, the customer lays on the bed, the under carriage is wiped clean with some wet naps, and the main event commences. The level of service always depends on the individual provider but one can be sure that the gals working Golden Girl know what they are doing in that department. Almost instinctively they seem to know that their guy of the hour won’t be too interested in their elderly or overweight bodies so they are good are repositioning themselves and making naughty conversation to focus the customer on the television screen, where movies of the adult type are played to get the blood flowing in a way similar to Mike’s Place in Bangkok.

Viewed over a bobbing head these movies are meant to get the pop off to come quicker. Whether or not that works will depend on many things but it is at least an additional feature that shows that they are willing to go a little further than some others who seem to have given up on the game.

In my experience the women working at Golden Girl are pleasant and eager to please. That’s how it should be but not necessarily how it is on the old Soi Post Office anymore.

At this point Golden Girl is a below average BJ bar that is set apart from some others only by the fact that it doesn’t seem to totally disdain its customers. It’s better than what the Pump Station has become, but that isn’t saying much. It’s far from the worst place in the world but I can’t see anyone going out of their way to get there. Hopefully the ownership will wise up and whip the place back into shape. Only time will tell. In its present state the shop only deserves a star and a half in my book.

I don’t want to totally discredit Golden Girl since the staff is trying to make a living and does provide an adequate level of service, but with other suck shops like Lolita’s and My Friend You bar so close it’s really difficult to give it a higher rating.

Note: Golden Girl has closed.