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How Chinese Massage Parlor Happy Endings Work

There’s a lot of rumor and innuendo floating around out there about massage parlors and “happy endings” in the United States. Let someone who has done the research fill you in. There are two main kinds of Asian massage parlors (AMP) that offer extra services in the US: Korean Massage Parlors and Chinese Massage Parlors. Today I’ll talk about Chinese massage parlors.

Chinese happy ending massage

When I say Chinese massage parlor I am talking about a particular kind of place. I am not describing every massage parlor with a Chinese name or Chinese people on staff. Obviously there are massage parlors with Chinese names, staff or owners that do not offer anything other than body rubs. On the other hand there are some Chinese owned and staffed places that offer more than just massages to customers. Those places which have come to be known as “Chinese massage parlors” in circles with an interest in Asian massage parlors are the places I am examining in this post.

Chinese massage parlors can be found in almost every major city in the United States and sometimes even in suburbs and rural areas. They often provide body massages along with additional services at least in some cases.

Hints and clues

Usually single male customers who visit a Chinese massage parlor will get a poor to decent massage followed by a hand job hand ending finish. On some occasions, especially in “fly by night” setups in residential buildings that come and go from one day to the next, customers may be offered oral sex or even full service.

There are some hints and signs that can help customers figure out whether or not a Chinese massage parlor offers extras. If it is open into the late night or early morning or advertises on websites like Backpage or Craigslist there’s a good chance there are extras on offer though there are no guarantees. Some places have become wise to this and will advertise on adult oriented websites in order to fool unsuspecting guys into visiting. It’s only at the end of the massages that those realize they aren’t getting anything more than a back rub.

Where extras are on offer at a Chinese massage parlor it’s accepted as a normal part of the massage. The logic is that such a release is necessary for “full release” on the part of the male clientele. At least that’s the theory. In some cases the simple fact is that masseuses massage particular body parts so that they can make more money than their often meager standard salary.

Chinese massage parlors often operate in a sort of gray area and service follows as such. These aren’t usually forward brothels where guys just walk in and get wanked off. Instead they are places where massages are concluded with offers for further work on the parts between the thighs.

This is by design and intended both for the safety of the staff and venues and as a part of creating an overall relaxing atmosphere. After all relaxation is the entire point of massage!

If extras are on offer masseuses will normally make it known. They don’t typically wait for customers to make a move. Any guy who shows up at a massage parlor being aggressive and pushing for more than a massage would be asking for trouble. In fact such behavior would probably be illegal and grounds for a masseuse to end a session or even call in the powers that be.

Frequent visitors to happy ending massage parlors in the United States don’t normally ask for any extra services. They simply lay back and receive them as they come. Some masseuses who do offer extra services may even turn down a guy who asks for them directly since they could fear that the customer is in fact a member of law enforcement trying to cause a problem.

Nowadays the internet offers a wide range of information that was not available to massage parlor aficionados even a few years ago. While some guys will still “take one for the team” and visit a massage parlor not covered online to see if they can get a happy ending the vast majority of customers today research massage parlors in advance in order to find a place to their liking.

Procedure

When a guy looking for a happy ending enters a massage parlor for the first time they typically ask for a one hour massage. That’s try even when a 30 minute massage is available for less money. That is because as a first time visitor they are more likely to get extras with a one hour massage than they are with a thirty minute sessions. Guys who opt for a short session may be branded as a “cheap charlie” off the bat and receive nothing more than a mediocre rub down.

Unlike some Korean massage parlors the women who work at Chinese massage parlors almost never wear any kind of sexy lingerie. While some of the higher end and better established places may have Chinese women in their twenties in somewhat sexy uniforms on staff the vast majority of massage parlors will have middle aged or even older women working. Of course looks are no indication of skill and some of the oldest women are the most renown for their abilities.

The staff at most Chinese massage parlors will ask unfamiliar customers if they have visited before. Some sources say that guys who want extra service must answer yes to this question no matter what the truth actually is. I don’t believe that is true. Guys who say things like “no, but I go to another place” or “no, but my friend told me to come” seem just as likely to get extra services. Even those who truthfully say “no” and leave it at that are often offered extras.

The usual rate at Chinese massage parlors is 40 to 50 dollars for an hour massage. Some places may ask for as much as 80 or even 100. There are also some cheaper places around but they are becoming rarer with each passing day. Payment is typically rendered after a massage is given though some places mask ask for payment up front if they feel there is a risk of being shorted.

The most high end Chinese massage parlors offer table showers. These involve the customer laying down on a padded table in a wash room and being cleaned from head to toe. Some middle of the road places will allow customers to shower themselves in a private stand up shower before or after the massage. Most places will offer neither.

At the start of the massage sessions customers are led to a room and told to take off their clothes. Some rooms are plain but normal with walls that go up to the ceiling and locking doors. Other rooms are nothing more than four thin dividers around a massage table and a curtain for a door. After the customers are in the room the masseuse or manager who led them to the room will leave.

For an oil massage in a Chinese massage parlor it is normal for the customer to get naked. Some customers who were fearful or nervous and left on their underwear have been told to remove them even at so called legitimate massage places. That’s because it is difficult to do a massage on a customer wearing underwear.

Most regulars to happy ending massage parlors say they get naked and sit down waiting for their masseuse to return though other report covering themselves up with a towel. The idea some have is that customers who show they are comfortable in the nude put the masseuses at ease and lessen any idea that the customers may in fact be cops.

In any event after the masseuse enters the room the customer is told to lay down face first on the table. Their body is then covered up in a towel. The towel is moved around as the massage progresses but is normally not totally removed from the body until much later.

Massages at Chinese massage parlors are typically done with the use of oil. Some customers don’t want to be covered in oil. They have different reasons. Some don’t want to be oiled up if they can’t shower afterwards. Some fear that suspicious significant others will notice the oil at home. Some simply find it uncomfortable. Normally customers can request that a massage be done without oil but in that case it is normally a lot less comfortable. In some cases a sort of talcum powder can be used instead of oil.

With or without oil the masseuses often ask customers if they want a hard or soft massage with their limited English. A hard massage involves varying amounts of pressure being applied to the customers back, buttocks and legs. A soft massage usually means the masseuse will lightly run her fingers over the customer’s, giving him goosebumps and quite possibly getting him erect. Customers focused on getting a happy ending will usually ask for a soft massage if given the option. The idea is that soft massage is more likely to lead to a happy ending. That’s why people on websites about massage parlors often refer to a happy ending as “soft touch” when they write reviews.

Some who frequent Chinese massage parlors often report that they will try to touch their masseuses lightly on the leg during their massages. According to them the masseuses will pull away if extras are not available or stay put if they are. I don’t think there’s much validity to this. In any case it sounds quite creepy.

I have no way to know but I would imagine that most masseuses would much prefer that customers simply try to strike up a conversation with them. They would probably appreciate it and even be happy to be able to practice their English and get a break from the monotony of rubbing the backs of semi-sleeping guys day after day.

The happy ending

During the massage things will often get a bit sexy at least from the point of view of the customer. When the masseuse is rubbing legs, buttocks and thighs customers often get turned on. This doesn’t seem to be much of a problem even for places that don’t offer extras.

Since erections can be totally involuntary during a massage they are often ignored. On the other hand customers who maintain an erection for a sustained period of time are probably more likely to be noticed.

At some point during any massage customers are asked to flip over and lie on their back. That’s where things can get iffy though they eventually become a lot more clear.

After getting their legs and backsides rubbed customers will sometimes be erect. Flipping over and having the towel moved makes that very obvious. Sometimes a masseuse will ask the question “do you want to turn over?” For guys in the know that itself can be an offer for extras. More usually the masseuse just say turn over or “flip” and start rubbing the inside of the legs. Eventually, if extras are offered, they will move closer to the penis and balls. They may even tease the groin or go as far as grabbing the stick or balls. At that point will either move directly to performing a hand job or they will ask the customer questions like “do you want anything else?” or make a hand motion signaling a hand job and ask “okay?”

At most Chinese massage places in America where extras are on offer prices are not discussed before hand. When prices are discussed up front it is often a sign of poor services to come but there are always exceptions. In any case, hand job happy endings can range from fast and mechanical to slow, oily and erotic. No matter the style of service customers nearly always get emptied out and sooner rather than later.

During a happy ending at a Chinese massage parlor the masseuse may get topless or even naked but this is usually not the case. Some regulars find that they can gain more access if they visit repeatedly and offer to tip more once the service is already underway.

Most masseuses do seem to be okay with customers touching them over their clothes during a happy ending hand job but some are not. Since it’s all a gray area there are no hard and fast rules. Ultimately the easiest way for anyone to get consent is usually to ask for it but human interactions can be complicated.

At the completion of a happy ending customers are usually cleaned up by the masseuse with either tissues or warm wet towels. After that the masseuse leaves the room. Customers them get dressed and head out to the front desk to pay. At around the same time customer give their masseuses a tip directly for their services.

Again there aren’t any hard and fast rules but generally speaking the normal tip for a handjob at a Chinese massage parlor is around forty dollars. Obviously some guys give more. A few may even give less but they are less likely to receive good or even any service if they return. At times masseuses will come right out and ask for a certain amount and it is sometimes more than forty dollars.

Legitimate massage

If at the end of a massage the masseuse simply says “okay that’s it” and leaves the room, that means extras aren’t being offered. Guys who explore massage parlors in an attempt to find places that offer happy ending accept that possibility. That’s part of their fun. The standard tip at places that do not offer happy endings is around ten dollars.

Repeat visits and add ons

After a customer becomes familiar with a place that offers extra services they often return. Once they are known they are more likely to get the services they are looking for with far less uncertainty. They may may opt for a 30 minute massage if the happy ending is all they’re after. In that case the tip remains the same. They may also inquire about four and even six handed massages which ads another masseuse or two. That is available at many Chinese massage parlors that offer extras and even some that don’t. Obviously each masseuse involved expects to be tipped for a many handed massage.

Jack shacks and knocking shops

Earlier I alluded to fly by night Chinese massage places set up in houses and apartments. In the past these less common set ups could be found in listings in the backs of “alternative papers” available freely in various cities. Later the ads migrated to the internet. They are usually short and to the point, saying things like “Asian massage, 555-555-5555.”

Since the places are private and often located in residential areas where business is not technically allowed customers have to call ahead to make an appointment and get directions. These spots are discreet. Customers sometimes have to call two or even three times to gain admission. Then they are let inside only to have one or two doors locked behind them.

Once inside customers get a half-ass massage and then are asked what else they want. Hand jobs are standard services offered in these kinds of places but sometimes customers will be offered oral sex.

Some of the older women will perform oral sex without protection but others require it even if its not effective. Customers who don’t bring their own condoms will sometimes find masseuses in these places doing something strange like covering the penis in plastic wrap before popping it in their mouth.

Guys who become regular and trusted visitors of these places can even be offered full service by women who get to know them or take a liking to them. The women who perform full service obviously do it because they can get more money but there are cases when they simply want to get some enjoyment for themselves and take the opportunity of using a trusted guy to get off on.

In these places prices will normally be negotiated up front. Customers may pay 40 dollars for an hour massage then negotiate other costs for further services. Sometimes customers can get away with paying a lot less than they would pay at a “normal” Chinese jack shack like those described above, but not always.

I am aware of at least one place were the sexy middle-aged Chinese manager also did massages. She got really into her work and went above and beyond the call of duty. She’d jerk and blow customers with her big round boobs out without even asking for a tip! At forty dollars a go all included it was quite a bargain in comparison to the competition. Of course it didn’t last. These places don’t last. That’s something regular customers are aware of.

how to get a happy ending

As you should be able to tell from reading this, things are widely variable with Chinese massage parlors. Fans of the places usually have laid back attitudes and simply go with whatever comes.

Soon I’ll write about Korean massage parlors which have more straight forward and set-in-stone routines. In those massage parlors full service is more or less standard. Again all of this only applies to a certain subset of places and even those are only located in the United States. Things are much different elsewhere in the world, which I’ll explain further in future entries. For now check out my book on happy ending massage for more.

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