Liquid lapdance is designed to let guys ejaculate at strip clubs


There has only been limited coverage of the specifics of the sex industry in the United States on this website. Some of the reasons for that have been mentioned in previous posts like the one I did on finding happy endings in the US. While I haven’t done much in the way of reviews or investigative reporting I have covered some of the “above ground” elements in things like interview with adult models and strip club reviews.

Strip clubs are legal and licensed in the United States though different localities have their own peculiar rules. Because of these regulations some “strip clubs” don’t offer stripping at all with women instead dancing in bikinis. In other clubs the women go topless but cover their nipples with pasties. More common are topless or fully nude clubs that have some strange rules about alcohol sales. In most places strippers can rub up against customers but in others this is forbidden and only table dances or “air dances” are allowed. I don’t advocate or recommend that anyone do anything. I simply write about what interests me. I’ve said many times that I’m for the legalization of financial arrangements for sexual services between consenting parties but I also recognize that breaking the law can land people in a lot of trouble even when the laws are outdated or hypocritical.

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I have only done a few reviews of strip clubs in the States. When you spend as much as I do traveling to places where the sale of sex is open and either legal or unofficially tolerated the thought of shelling out twenty to thirty US dollars for three minutes of a woman grinding on your leg doesn’t have a huge amount of appeal, especially when the same amount of money buys a blowjob in Tokyo.

That said strip clubs still have their place especially while draconian regulations outlawing the exchange of sexual services (except lapdances) for money exist. When I’m in the US I have a hard time turning down a request to visit a titty bar with the guys. Even though I’ve been to some real dives I’m still a red blooded man with a penchant for mammary glands.

I have come to see strip clubs in the US more as places to hang out than anything else. After all having a beer with boobs bouncing around in the background is surely better than having a beer with nothing but a bunch of drunk men around. Others including guys who for whatever reason either aren’t able or willing to venture into the underground commercial sex scene or travel to places where things are out in the open may see the local topless joint more as a place for release. I’ve certainly seen some gentlemen totally zone out when locked in on a pair of tits at these places. I’ve also heard many accounts of guys either blowing their loads or trying to during a lap dance. I can’t say that I’ve ever had the pleasure though I can understand where they are, ahem, coming from. Some men’s magazines and television programs have even recommended that guys do things like wear sweatpants to strip clubs so they can feel more.

A large number of readers of this website are based in the United States and more than a few have written me to request that I add more coverage of the Land of the Free. While I ultimately make the decisions on what I want to write about based on my own feelings, interests and instincts I do take reader input into account.  I also have an interest in reporting on various parts of the sex industry that may go under the radar. I only recently became aware of the product being reported on here, but a Google search reveals that Liquid Lapdance has been covered to some degree by outlets like Vice, Complex and Jezebel.

Of all the things that could be said about Liquid Lapdance I think calling it a very interesting product would be the most accurate. The thing is essentially a thin rubber undergarment that guys can wear underneath their clothes so that they don’t have to worry about dealing with a sticky mess if and when they shoot their load at the local strip joint.

I haven’t tried on a pair but after doing some research and talking to the people behind the product I get the idea. There is a form fitting pouch in the front that holds a guy’s twig and berries. Before strapping in guys are supposed to add a dab of lube to this banana hammock and that in turn is said to make any contact with the lap very pleasurable. Although not necessarily favorable the guy doing the tongue in cheek review in Vice mentioned above said walking around with the product on was similar to getting a blowjob. That in and of itself is pretty intriguing.

Liquid Lapdance was apparently created in Las Vegas a few years ago by guys who wanted to find a better way to do things. Contrary to popular belief prostitution is not legal in Las Vegas though it is permitted at regulated brothels located some distance from Vegas that charge fairly high prices. There are many happy ending massage parlors and escorts around the city though their services are likely to be forbidden by the powers that be. Strip clubs on the other hand are plentiful and totally permitted by local regulations. Because of its reputation as a destination for people who either have a lot of money or pretend like they do while on holiday Las Vegas attracts a number of hot babes and many of them end up in the strip club circuit. So it certainly makes sense that such a product would originate in Sin City.

They say that what happens in Vegas stays there but that hasn’t been the case for the Liquid Lapdance. After being created years ago the product still seems to be going strong. According to this user review they even improved the product after the initial launch to “make the dick stand straight up.” The company promotes itself and also picks up coverage in the media which keeps it in the minds of people. That may not be enough to keep a company in business though so the people in charge must be doing something right. I’m sure their 100% money back orgasm guarantee does a lot to help business. The guarantee simply states, “If you don’t cum, send us an email.  We’ll either solve the problem or give you a full refund.  Guaranteed.” Now that’s really saying something.

The Liquid Lapdance is available at the company’s website They even have an option to ship to a FedEx location for easy and discrete pick up in case shipping directly to a customer’s home or workplace isn’t feasible.

Note: Liquid lapdance no longer seems to be available. The website has been down for some time and the Twitter account has not been active in years.

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  1. Reg Wilson June 1, 2015
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