Review: Dr. BJ’s Nuru Massage in Bangkok, Thailand (CLOSED)

Dr BJ’s Nuru Massage on Soi 7/1 in Bangkok attempts to replicate all the fun of the Japanese nuru massage in Thailand, but sadly falls short.

Located on a street filled with “massage” places that offer a whole lot more, Dr BJ’s Nuru is a relatively new shop with a different approach. The place is easy to get to with a cab or tuk tuk, or simply by exiting the BTS at Nana Station a few yards away. As the name indicates, this shop is associated with Bangkok’s Dr BJ’s blowjob bar.

When you approach Dr BJ’s Nuru, a number of women will be waiting outside the shop trying to encourage passersby to enter. More women are waiting inside. When you enter, you’ll be presented with a lineup of the available women. Most will be wearing black silky robes. The negative thing about these robes is that cover up the bodies of the women, and many here have post-baby bellies and tits. Even if they have beautiful faces, their midsections can be really bad. A western guy from Europe manages the place and will often be the way asking you who you want to take.

Inside Dr BJ’s Nuru

As a new place, this nuru shop is clean and well put together. The lighting in the lobby and halls is bright, so much so in fact that it’s almost clinical in feeling. There is a nice enough looking bar against the wall, though I don’t know who in their right mind would come here to drink. More likely you will be pressured into buying a drink for yourself and the lady you choose. This adds an additional 6 or 7 US dollars to your bill, which is to be paid in advance to the Thai mamasan.

The rate for the nuru and everything else is 2000 baht ($65 US dollars) for 1 hour in a standard room and 3000 baht ($98 US dollars) for an hour in a so-called VIP room. This rate is all inclusive and there is no need for tips.

You’ll walk up a narrow stairway to get to the rooms. Your masseuse will walk you to the right door, where you’ll take off and leave your shoes. The standard rooms are spacious but plain. The floors are covered with wrestling-style mats. There is a shower head inside and a set of hooks for your clothes with a shower curtain cover to keep them dry. The VIP rooms seem to be only a little better, with waterproofed full beds. There is a decent amount of privacy, with walls that go all the way up and locking doors, but you can still hear a bit of what is going on in the next room.

Services and summary

The rooms can be a bit cold when you enter. After all, here you are buck-naked on a wet mat. After you lay down, your masseuse, who at this point has removed her clothes, will wash you with soap and warm water. Next, she’ll apply nuru gel, which is actually pretty close to the stuff used in Japan, and do her nuru slide. The problem is that many of these girls do not have great bodies at all, and additionally are not very good at the slide. I basically walk around with a half of hard on most days even in normal life, but my masseuse at this shop couldn’t get me aroused when on top of me in her birthday suit and her cooter inches from my face. Don’t get me wrong, she was a nice woman with a cute face, but that’s not what this place is supposed to be about.

They are pretty accommodating about the services they offer. As they often say in Thailand “up to you.” Hand relief, oral action and full service was available when I visited. I opted for the blow and some pumping, but I just couldn’t get the job done. In fact, I could barely maintain wood, a very rare occurrence for me (as in, maybe 3 times ever, with hundreds and hundreds of women). In the end, I had her finish me off by hand with the assistance of the nuru gel.

After doing the deed, I was washed off and we both got dressed. We headed downstairs and through the lobby, where my masseuse walked me out the door and wished me a kind goodbye. I was drained, but with so many other adult entertainment options nearby, including many at lower prices, I did not feel like I got my money’s worth. I was looking for a proper nuru body slide with an at least semi-fit woman. What I got amounted to a lot less.

As not much more than a short-time brothel with the addition of some water, DR BJ’s Nuru Massage isn’t that special. I give it a star and a half.

Note: Dr BJ’s Nuru Massage has closed. Another shop called Chrome Bar has opened in same location. It offers the same service.