Review: The Eden Club in Bangkok, Thailand (CLOSED)

The Eden Club is one of the older shops in Bangkok offering the “porn star experience” (PSE) at a moderate rate.

The Eden Club is located on Sukhumvit Soi 7/1, not far from Dr. BJ’s Nuru Massage. Getting there is easy. It’s just outside of exit one out of Nana Station on the BTS. Every taxi in Bangkok knows Sukhumvit Soi 7/1 too. The street is very short and it dead ends. So there’s no way to get lost.

The shop isn’t in a discreet location, but the street itself is. And hey, this is Bangkok we’re talking about. A number of women on the staff will be outside waiting to tempt passing guys inside. Most western men on the street are looking for erotic services. There aren’t many other reasons to be there. Once you walk inside you are greeted by the owner behind the bar.

The Eden Club

The shop is owned by a middle-aged French guy who can come on a little strong. He seems to always be there during business hours, which in itself isn’t too strange. But his in your face approach and way of talking is not totally comfortable to say the least. Imagine a male porn star from the 1980’s and you’ll be about halfway there. That’s my opinion anyway. I wouldn’t give one at all if he wasn’t the face of the business. But he is.

He will give you a rundown of the rules in English, and explain that at his shop taking two women is standard. As this is happening, a lineup of all the available women will form. There are usually two dozen ladies or so on staff. Girls to the left of the line on the way do anal. Girls on the right of the line do not. The boss suggests that you pick a woman you like and then let her pick a friend to go with her. The theory is that you get better chemistry between the women this way.

Women at the Eden Club

Most of the women here are not great looking. Don’t get me wrong, they are a lot better than the selection you might find at a Wal-Mart in Minnesota. But by Thai sex industry standards they are mostly on the lower end.

A lot of the women who work here seem to be pretty “experienced”. They’re probably in their thirties or possibly even their forties. In theory this could mean that they know more about how to please a guy. But in this case it seems only to mean that they are hardened and in a lot of cases even burned out.

There are times when pounding away at a hardcore whore could be something you want. But the experience here is supposed to be a lot more. This is supposed to be a place where a guy can go to live out his fantasies. I don’t know many guys that fantasize about 40 year old sex workers with saggy tits and stretch marks.

Some of the girls are cute, but it can be tough getting a good look at their bodies. You may end up picking a girl with a cute face who in turn will pick an unattractive friend. Then, when you get to the room, you’ll find out that the cute girl’s body is wrecked and the unattractive one looks a lot better. You never know.

It is also possible that I’ve just visited at “bad times”. Or when the most beautiful women were booked. But since I’ve tried the place multiple times, never been there at the same time as another customer, and have always had dozens of ladies to choose from, I doubt it.

Regardless, most guys who enter the place can probably find a couple of women they find acceptable. When you do, you and your new lady friends will head upstairs.

Price and service

A 90 minute session, which is the standard here, runs 4500 Baht ($146 USD). This is payable to the female Thai cashier behind the bar after you finish. The action happens on premises in private rooms. Outcall is available, but at a higher rate. Tips are accepted but not expected.

The rooms are clean and private. An old school box TV is hanging from the ceiling of each, with some hardcore threesome porn playing. It appears to be European stuff most of the time. The ceilings are mirrored, which even though a bit cheesy sounding is actually a nice touch. There is a nicely sized clean bathroom and shower in each room as well. Things can actually be a bit mechanical because of this in my opinion, with some ladies constantly showering and brushing their teeth in between every little event. This, combined with the putting on and taking off of condoms can be a bit annoying. I guess that’s just the nature of the game though.

When you enter you will shower and brush your teeth, and the ladies will follow. Afterwards you head to the bed. Usually one of the girls will start sucking you while the other is still getting cleaned. After that, the threesome action begins. And this is where I always have my “problems”. Of course the problems are relative; a lot of people around the world are sexless or even starving.

Sure the shag is good enough, and I always get at least two loads off. But there is something lacking. You really have direct the women that work here. If you don’t ask specifically for something, even if it’s “standard” in a threesome, you won’t get it. If you don’t tell one girl to go down on the other, they won’t. If you don’t explicitly ask for this or that position or combination, you won’t get it. Even if you pick a “three-holer” from the left side of the anal line, you won’t get any booty action unless you say “now I’d like to pump your butt”, or something similar. If you just lay back and try to let them do the work, you’ll get vanilla oral and full service from each lady, one at a time.

Summary

There are times when taking charge is not only okay but great. But when I come to a place that supposed to offer porn star experience hardcore action I expect the women servicing me to take the lead. That’s what I’m paying for, but yet it has never happened for me here. I even repeated my visits to Eden and tried many different women on their staff to see if this was just a fluke, but it really doesn’t seem to be.

I’m sure the management would say that I should have talked to them about poor or mediocre service. But who really wants to do that? The whole setup is already a bit cold and impersonal for my tastes. I’d rather not make it worse on myself.

I have nothing against the women who work here anyway, and I did not want to cause them any trouble. I’m sure their job is already tough enough.

As an aging in-call facility with many unattractive women and offering mechanical performance on the regular, it’s hard for me to give Eden a high rating. Maybe if it was somewhere else, I’d lower the standard. But here in Thailand where there is just so much sex available I can’t justify it. Especially with the rates being what they are. I give The Eden Club a star and a half. After three visits, I probably wouldn’t return. The place does continue to be popular though, so maybe I just don’t get it.

Note: The Eden Club has closed. Another business called Red Fern has opened in the same location.