Review: Jill’s Gentlemen’s Club in Triadelphia, WV USA

Jill’s Gentlemen’s Club is a strip club in Triadelphia, West Virginia. It is located on the side of a major freeway that connects a number of somewhat major cities. Still the place is rather out of the way. It is arguably also misnamed. It doesn’t seem any gentlemen have been near Jill’s in years. If ever. Still the place claims to be “a class act”. As you will see I do beg to differ.

Another problem with the place becomes immediately obvious immediately upon entry. Like the previously reviewed Treasure Club in Asheville, Jill’s has an invasive and objectionable entrance policy. Each patron, regardless of age, must show photo identification to enter. That’s not necessarily out of the norm. But the name, address and ID number of each customer who enters is also recorded recorded by the front clerk into a cheap lined notebook. I can only imagine that this would be enough to turn some punters back. In the interest of science I continued on inside to do some research.

Inside Jill’s

The entry fee at Jill’s is a mere $7 USD. That is pretty low for the United States. It rivals some strip clubs I visited decades ago that charged just $5 and offered all-you-could-drink draft beer. Those places seem to have gone away. Jill’s is still here. This club doesn’t give away free drinks. But beers are available at reasonable rates. Hard liquor isn’t much more expensive but the bar tenders seem to be trained in the art of doling out half-shots.

While the proprietors can be criticized roundly for their entrance requirements, I cannot blame them too much for the lack of décor or the overall looks of the staff. I do have to remember where the place is located when taking those kinds of things into consideration. Those who have never been to a roadside American strip club may be surprised at what they find. As one blogger put it way back in 2009:

“There are few places as desperate and lonely as a West Virginia strip club.”

I can’t find too much positive to say about Jill’s. The place is small, dark and dreary. The music is mediocre at best. The place also gets crowded with only a few visitors. Some of the seats have next to no view of the stage. The wait staff is in no rush. And some of the locals seem to be a bit territorial. For example a person might be told a seat is “taken” even as it sits empty for ten or twenty minutes. Or at least that is what I witnessed.

Dancers, prices, services

There are probably nine or ten women working a good night. They are mostly average in looks. Again I am trying not to be too critical. I am sure some are even local celebrities. But I find it unlikely that they would turn many heads on a street or stage in any big city. I could be wrong. These are simply my thoughts. The rotation of dancers is also quite slow. I can only guess that this is probably to stretch the small staff a little further.

The dancers perform on a small stage surrounded by the aforementioned seats. At the end of the stage there is an open area where customers can tip. This is strange. Customers can stand there at the end basically in the middle of the club waiting for a dancer to work her way around the stage. When she finally shows up and flexes her thigh one or two times, the guy will hand her a dollar bill or perhaps five. Not exactly sensual.

The obvious lack of any kind of enthusiasm of the dancers combined with the decrepit and unwelcoming atmosphere and strange layout combines to make the place one of the worst strip clubs I have ever visited. That even includes the tiny dive strip clubs (or “night clubs” as they call them) I visited in the Dominican Republic where none of the girls actually stripped. At least the women who worked those places were young, attractive and warm. Many of them also left the bar with customers for payment.

Lap dances at Jill’s cost $20 USD per song. Well they are actually called “couch dances” and the women dance with their clothes on. As you may have guessed they are nothing to write home about. Longer sessions are available at a rate of $220 though I can’t fathom how desperate a man would have to be to go for such a thing in that environment. I am sure some men do it. I just can’t be sure why.

Summary

I don’t put much stock in any of the stuff about “sex addiction” that has been gaining prominence in the last few years. It seems to me it’s little more than a way for society to condemn people who want to pursue sex instead of doing something acceptable like spending ten hours hunched over a computer desk. But since I can’t seem to pass up any adult entertainment facility I pass perhaps I should reconsider. Otherwise I may end up in another place like Jill’s.

I usually try to give a place the benefit of the doubt. You won’t find many rock bottom ratings on this site. I realize people are trying to make a living. But Jill’s just isn’t enjoyable to me at all. If this is what adult entertainment looks like, men might as well take up darts and save some money and time.

The place isn’t all that expensive for a strip club. Yet it is just not the kind of place where I would want to spend an evening or even an hour. In my view, Jills Gentlemen’s Club has only one redeeming value: its location. The place is simultaneously in the middle of nowhere and just along an interstate highway. So they have a somewhat captive audience to work with. Having seen what goes on inside I would rather just keep on trucking. Especially since there are better places located not so far away and adult cam sites with blazing hot babes available to anyone with an internet connection.

I can’t find any basis to give Jill’s more than one star. In reality it probably deserves a half of a star. But I can bump them up since the bathroom was much cleaner than I expected it to be. After waiting in line to get to a toilet I was glad that the place didn’t smell like the inside of a dead animal baked onto the nearby pavement. That is more than can be said of some other places of the ilk.

Jill’s Gentlemen’s Club. 411 West Alexander Rd., Triadelphia, West Virginia 26059 USA. Click here for a map. Open every day from 5:00 PM until 3:00 AM. Website: http://www.jillsaclassact.com