Thy Neighbor’s Wife is a marvel of English literature covering human sexual behavior and our collective reactions to it. In narrative fashion the book twists together various tales that help paint a picture of the way sex and sexuality changed in the United States between the 1950’s and the 1970’s. It paints a clear portrait of the so-called sexual revolution that swept the United States in the years prior to the AIDS epidemic. At the same time the book reaches further through both time and space to show the very real connections between things like obscenity laws in Victorian England and free speech fights in 20th century America.
I cannot overstate the value of Thy Neighbor’s Wife which addresses several topics of interest in a way that was rarely if ever attempted prior. Or perhaps even since. Author Gay Talese describes the rise of everything from adult magazines like Playboy, Screw and Hustler to the emergence of swinger’s clubs and massage parlors in unmatched detail.
The book was written by a man who involved himself in the story if only as an impartial reporter. Rather than peer in from the sidelines with pearl-clutching spectators, Talese jumped into the fray. As Katie Roiphe would later describe:
He is both there and not there; he is in the massage parlor getting jerked off, but he is also thinking, ‘Who is the masseuse? What was her childhood like? How do her other customers feel about their jobs?’ In the room there is always the writer, the observer watching the room…”.
Gay Talese spent an incredible 9 years traveling across the United States to research Thy Neighbor’s Wife. And even more time writing it. By the time the book was finally published in 1981, it had already achieved widespread notoriety due to extensive if sensationalist coverage in the media. The movie rights to Thy Neighbor’s Wife were even purchased for $2,500,000, which at the time was the highest fee ever paid for such a thing. Once it became readily available to the public, Thy Neighbor’s Wife quickly became a best seller and remained on the New York Times Best Sellers list for months.
I first entered the United States in the early 1980’s. By the time I became well versed enough in the English language to make it through a 500 page book Thy Neighbor’s Wife had already fallen off the radar for most readers. The mix of outrage and interest had died down in the general population who found in the book more of an authentic account of changes in American society than a titillating tale of sexual debauchery. But when I first came across the book years after its publication I was instantly intrigued. With the help of a dictionary I read the entire thing from cover to cover over a period of just two days.
Decades later some passages of the book still stand out in my mind for being as cutting as they are straightforward, honest and frankly, self-evident. For example:
The penis is not by nature a monogamous organ. It knows no moral code. It was designed by nature for waste, it craves variety, and nothing less than castration will eliminate the allure of prostitution, fornication, adultery or pornography.”
Talese’s account of Screw publisher Al Goldstein’s way of covering massage parlors also stands out, for reasons that may be obvious.
It was Goldstein’s intention to visit, unannounced, each parlor in the city, new and the old, paying the same price as any other customer; and after experiencing the manipulative skills of the various masseuses, and keeping mental notes on the cleanliness of each establishment as well as the courtesy of the management, he would then write a brief description of each parlor in Screw and assign to each a rating of from one to four stars.”
While I am very obliviously not of the caliber of men such as Talese or even Goldstein, this may all sound familiar to regular readers of Rockit Reports. Especially Talese’s description of his own work. As he says, “It is not an exhibitionist’s confession; it is not a journalist’s contribution to pornography.” Instead, he “has a serious interest in watching his fellow human beings, in listening to them, and in presenting honestly what he has seen and heard.” Needless to say, I recognize and identify with that interest to this day.
Thy Neighbor’s Wife is a real page turner. While it does slow down slightly towards the end and take a somewhat odd detour into third person perspective, the book is an enlightening and entertaining read from beginning to end. It remains its relevance today as few, if any, books have ever matched its masterful methods and prose. Thy Neighbor’s Wife is not perfect, but it is pretty close. I give it four-and-a-half stars. 
Interesting article. In my country in Europe, some female writers told stories, wrote books, about their sexual awakening and findings in the context of the cultural climate in the early 1970-th. My older sister had them all. I used to read them as a kid, to learn and get aroused for my private moments.
Years later a met one of the authors on a dance floor, I was perhaps 35 and she was 60-65? We made out, but I did not want to take her home and f*** her, age had not treated her well.
(Dont mind older ladies as an experience- I think I am one of not that many who had sex with girls born in the 18, 19 and 20th century).
cheers
Thanks for the comment Alex! This reminds me of the generation who lived to see Friedrich Nietzsche, the Beatles and Yuri Gagarin’s space flight! Though I have to guess you meant the 19th, 20th and 21st centuries since the 18th century ended in the year 1800. Either way, it is quite an accomplishment and it certainly puts you into a class of your own. Yours dance floor story also reminds me of one of the sexual pioneers described in Thy Neighbor’s Wife who committed suicide at age 69 in part so she would be remembered forever 69. Cheers.
As a young man of 19-20 it was a thrilling fetish to have sex with a lady in her late, late 70th. I view it differently these days. Age is problematic, cant say I enjoy sleeping with anybody over 45-50.
It seems that’s what most men would say for the time I have been alive. Though now there is a sizable contingent of MILF and cougar lovers. And a 70 year old porn star is in the top 1 percent on OnlyFans. Cheers!
Note to the editor: Don’t know what category this comment belongs in. Please post it as you see fit.
Also, the text formatting didn’t transfer well. Perhaps I can send the original doc by email to you?
The Demographics of Rockit Reports
A lifetime ago, Playboy magazine posed the question, “What kind of man reads Playboy?”
These days, Playboy magazine deserves a final resting place in the Smithsonian museum, in a nitrogen filled display case. IE, no man reads Playboy. Given their demise, perhaps the relevant question today is, “What kind of man reads Rockit Reports?”
So what kind of men are they? Where do they sit on the economic spectrum? First point; chasing tail is an expensive pastime. Perhaps the readers are CEO’s, entrepreneurs and so on. Or possibly trust fund babies. Personally, my booty budget is $2,000 per month, and I live in South East Asia, where the price of said booty is mercifully low. I can’t imagine how much it costs to be a sugar daddy in the USA.
Second point; the comments in Rockit reports are surprisingly well written, informative and downright choke on an olive funny. Even those commentors who are not fluent in English manage to write very amusing tales of their slippery dickery exploits. During recent Covid imposed air travel restrictions, I was reading Rockit Reports while flying in first class. I laughed so hard that the guy in the next suite complained to the lovely flight attendant that I was making too much noise. I distracted myself by imagining my attentive, long legged flight attendant wearing transparent PPE and nothing else. Mr complainer guy has probably never heard of Rockit Reports.
So, RRR (Rockit Report Readers) have money, are articulate, and appear to be a fun bunch of guys. Understandably, these readers must remain anonymous. We must fly low and avoid the radar. A reader survey will never happen. But if it could happen, here’s a few questions from that improbable survey:
1. How much do you spend per month on casual sex?
2. How long have you been at it?
3. Happy with the results?
4. How do you travel to the places that provide blessed relief?
(a) Me and my genitals live there.
(b) I travel frequently for business.
(c) I take a holiday whenever I can get away from my soul destroying job in my sexual wasteland of a country.
Rockit Reports is also about the women. Those hard working bar girls who tirelessly promote world peace through blowjobs. What are their demographics?
I have a theory on this. Consider a bell curve distribution of intelligence. An intelligent girl realizes that she can make a lot of money working in the bar, if she can avoid the pitfalls of STD’s, abusive customers, and alcoholism. And if she’s really good, she could win the boyfriend lottery, and score an expat husband who treats her well. Alternatively, she could work in a sewing factory, rise to the level of supervisor, and make perhaps $800 per month. Or work in the bar, and make $2,000 per month. Some smart girls choose the latter profession.
At the other end of the bell curve, the least talented, least educated girls will also work in the bar, by default. Average girls will find themselves in the normal workplace, making an average salary. In statistics, it’s called a bimodal distribution.
Playboy magazine started in 1953 and withered away during the last 20 years. Let’s call it 50 good years. So here’s a toast to Rockit Reports. May you remain entertaining for the next 50 years!
Also, a note to the Rockit: Playboy started the “What kind of man reads Playboy” campaign as a way of attracting more advertisers. Perhaps the same could apply to your esteemed web site?
Thanks for the well written comment John. This is all very interesting! Certain demographic data is available on the back end of the website. Though obviously basic website analytics can’t determine all of the things you’ve written about here. This may be something to look into in the future. Thanks again for the contribution. Cheers!
What a great, equally well written post JB! Indeed, “what kind of man reads Rockit Reports?” would make a great poll, or post.
My jaw is on the floor that you have up to 2k per month budgeted in the low cost reaches of SE Asia! I had some Thai women available for half of that for a “Mia noi” relationship, so you must be swimming in skin my friend.
J.
I concur. Though depending on how a person spent their money that amount could go far or be quite limiting. For example, it could fund a daily visit to a 5000 Baht a go soapy massage for a month. Though not if one opted for the “model” class in some places where the rate can be 10,000 to 15,000. There are even Suhkumvit parlors charging 5 or 6 thousand Baht a go these days. Some go go bars end up costing more than that once all is considered. On the other hand there are still some places and people charging as little as 500 Baht a go. And women being “sugar babies” for much less than that. Consider also things like drinks and transportation too. Cheers!
Thanks for the kind words. I’d like to expand on the subject of demographics. Would you consider a guest editorial? You can of course reject my submission if it’s too outrageous.
I have only published a few guest posts on this site. All were written by the same person. I wouldn’t be against publishing a well written post by any means. Just send it through the contact form on the about page and attach your correct email address. I appreciate your contribution! Cheers.
Peer reviewed papers show that smart guys like to be alone (travel alone) – and yes who needs annoying stupid people around? And according to the same science we have more sex than the average person. Presumably we also know how to generate the funds we need to sustain this lifestyle, it comes with the IQ.
No idea if above is true or not, but an interesting hypothesis? cheers
An interesting hypothesis to say the least. Cheers!
I seem to be smarter when I think with my real head, but sometimes feel, smarter when the other one takes over.
Emanuel Kant was a real pissant, I drink therefore I am.
There is a reason many refer to the few seconds after a man reaches orgasm as a “moment of clarity”. Cheers!