Review: Absolute Paradise in Chiang Mai, Thailand

Absolute Paradise is a makeshift massage parlor tucked away in a lightly used hotel located off the beaten path in Chiang Mai. It’s unlikely that many people would accidentally wander into the massage parlor even though signs are prominently posted in English on the road that leads to the place.

Although I have covered the commercial sex scene in Thailand in detail most of that coverage has been limited to the popular large cities of Bangkok and Pattaya. Thus far I have not reviewed locations outside of those cities but that will change today.

Bangkok and Pattaya contain so many venues that it would require more volumes than Casanova’s Story of My Life to review them all in full detail. While I will continue to write about the places in those cities on a regular basis I will also incorporate reviews and write ups on other cities in Thailand and around the world.

Absolute Paradise location

Absolute Paradise is located in room 211 of the Paradise Hotel on Sridonchai Road. The area is south of the city’s famous Night Bazaar.

Customers simply walk into the hotel and up the stairs to the room to enter. They don’t need to check in at the hotel’s front desk which is usually deserted in any event. There are some paper signs indicating the way to the massage parlor and marking the door though they don’t really stand out. The room number is the main indicator.

Once customers enter the room they see that is has been changed from a hotel room into a makeshift office. There are small wooden chairs and some signs in English and Thai indicating rules and prices. There is also a water dispenser and a fan installed in an unsuccessful bid to get around the lack of an air conditioner.

Women at Absolute Paradise

A manager who speaks a little English and calls himself a “public relations person” presents himself to customers after they enter. He asks if they have booked an appointment over the phone before arrival. If not he instructs them to wait while he assembles the available women.

Quite a few women work at Absolute though they show up at different times. Some days and evenings there are only one or two women available. At other times there are up to a dozen on hand. The available women walk through a back door one by one to allow customers to see them all. Once the parade is over customers are asked to make a selection.

Nearly all the women working at Absolute Paradise are attractive gals in their very early twenties. Most have light skin and have not had children. They would in general be considered more attractive than most of the women working in Pattaya go go bars by Thai standards though of course beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Price and proceedure

Once customers select one of the available women they pay a house fee to the manager. Full body massages lasting eighty minutes are the main course. They range from 1,300 to 1,600 Baht ($37-46 USD) depending on the classification of the lady. There are other courses available including a two woman “sandwich” session that goes for 2,000 Baht ($57 USD).

After house fees are paid customers are assigned one of the numbered rooms in the hotel and told to wait until their masseuse arrives. Masseuses arrive soon after and introduce themselves before the fun begins.

Absolute gets its share of Thai customers. Men from other Asian countries also make up much of the customer base. Western customers aren’t as common which would help explain why most of the women who work at Absolute speak little if any English. That doesn’t necessarily get in the way of the services provided but it is worth noting.

While each woman has their own routine most courses follow the same plan. Customers are undressed and that is followed by the masseuse undressing. Customers are then taken into the shower and thoroughly washed up and down with a copious amount of soap. The masseuses use their hands and their bodies to apply the soap. After rinsing off customers are dried off and instructed to go to the bed and wait.

Happy ending

Soon after the service providers emerge to provide a light dry massage followed by a wet nuru style body-to-body massage that very much resembles the way things are kicked off in sessions with women from the fishbowls in Thai soapy massage parlors. In many cases the women at Paradise are even better at the body slide than the average soapy massage parlor around the country.

These beginning services actually last quite a while. To their credit the women at Absolute clearly put in the work they promise and aren’t out to rip anyone off or short clients for time.

The body massages customers pay for at Paradise only include a hand finish. Most of the women working at Paradise seem to be up for more though they ask for tips for anything above and beyond hand service. The tips requested follow the normal schedule of oily massage parlors in Thailand with full service typically going for an additional 1,000 Baht ($29 USD). Of course whatever deals women work out are between them and their customers and may not be performed with the knowledge or acceptance of the management.

Absolute Paradise is out of the way and set up differently than most other massage parlors. That makes it stand out even in Thailand where massage parlors of all kind are plentiful. It doesn’t necessarily make it any better or worse than other shops however. The management is friendly. Prices are reasonable. The women are attractive. All of that ads up to what is an above average enterprise. It’s not absolutely paradise but I give it three-and-a-half-stars.

Absolute Paradise. Sridonchai Road, Chiang Mai, Thailand. Click here for a map. Open every day from 10:30 AM – 12:00 AM. Phone: +66 089-559-2730.