Where to get a happy ending massage in America

A significant percentage of the traffic to this website comes from people entering phrases into a search engine such as “how can I know if a massage parlor gives a happy ending?” Some are a lot more specific, looking for a guaranteed happy ending in a particular city or even searching out an establishment by name. These run the gambit from New York to Philly to Tokyo, though about half of the visitors come from small town USA.

I’ve reviewed places all over the world, and I’ve also come across countless news reports of those same kinds of places getting busted, especially in Middle America.

It’s not very difficult to find out about extra services on offer at any massage parlor or strip club. Besides the litany of websites, blogs, forums and review sites that exist, you can simple walk around and find out for yourself. Clearly there is a great demand for sexual services. And to match that, there is also a supply.  Even where prostitution is illegal (even though it shouldn’t be) this is still a fact of life.

Sometimes commercial sex sellers try to float under the radar, to differing degrees of success. Sometimes they establish special relationships with local authorities or set up shop in places with too much real crime to worry about to bother. All around the world, and yes, throughout the United States, people are plunking down cash to get jerked, sucked and fucked.

But even though this is well known by anyone who cares to take a look around themselves some people still can’t take it. Every time a massage parlor tucked in this or that shadowy corner of some little hamlet or suburb is busted, the comments of the local news reports are littered with moral outrage approaching on the hysteric. While there are many, probably a silent majority, that agree that if it’s legal to have sex and legal to sell it should be legal to sell sex, they are crowded out by the NIMBY crusader crowd that simply can’t stand the horrors of someone being brought to orgasmic bliss by the hands of a woman making a better living than she could make elsewhere. Won’t somebody think of the children?!?

There are certain people with power who have whipped these waiting lynch mobs into shape, and I have neither the means nor the desire to go up against such forces.

Despite the fact that each and every page of this websites carries the disclaimer that “The contents of this website are purely fictional and intended only as adult entertainment,” I can’t help but worry that something written here may be used against a sex worker and/or their clientele in some way, shape or form. For that reason I will be revisiting the reviews posted here where I feel there is even a slight danger of what I write being misinterpreted.

This means that some reviews (despite the disclaimer) will be removed outright and others will be edited. In the future, establishments where adult relations are still subject to the approval of the state will not be reviewed at all except in special cases. Some people can’t separate fact from fiction or what’s important from what’s not. That means someone could try to use something posted on the internet in a way not intended. They may try to use adult entertainment and innuendo as a weapon in their battle to make everything swell and good. I’m sure it wouldn’t hold up if it came down to it, but I don’t want to risk it anyway. Quite frankly, it’s not worth the bother.

Fear not my fellow sex fan, most of the reviews and entries here are safe, referring to people, places and things theoretically free from state interference at the moment. Besides, the main point of this site is to bring the reader a source of entertainment.

Besides reading this site regularly, the book “How to Pay to Get Laid” will surely help you a great deal in that regard. You should also check out entries on this site like How Korean massage parlors work and How Chinese massage parlors work.

And there are still plenty of resources out there for those of you looking for specific information on places located behind the sexual “firewall.” With countless contributors, these places undoubtedly offer more specific information than I ever could. Some of the better known sites are: Naughty Reviews, Erotic Massage Parlors, Spa Hunters, Rub MapsThe Erotic Review, International Sex Guide and USA Sex Guide.

So, with all of that out of the way, back to the original question. “Where to get a happy ending massage in America?

Not here my friend. Not here.

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3 Comments

  1. patrick March 22, 2013
    • rockit March 22, 2013
    • Deca December 31, 2015

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