Review: The Lord — Bangkok, Thailand

A room at The Lord Spa massage in BangkokNow that I’ve finished reviewing all of the blowjob bars in Bangkok I can focus more on other aspects of the adult entertainment industry in the capital. I started reviewing oily massage parlors in the city years ago yet I  have only just started to scratch the surface of that expansive sector. Who knows how long it would take to review them all. I may just find out but in the meantime I’ll also continue to report on the slightly smaller but no less popular soapy massage parlor scene.

The Lord Palace Spa and Hotel is a large adult entertainment complex located on Ratchadaphisek Soi 7 in the Huai Khwang area. The truly lavish building that houses the place looks more like a mansion or five star hotel than a massage parlor especially when compared to some of the dinky little shops that can be found elsewhere doing thirty minute foot rubs. The luxury looks extend to the staff and the rooms too but as can be expected it all comes with a premium price.

The Lord is for the most part aimed at Thai guys with money. While Thai customers are common at almost all soapy massage parlors other than places like Annie’s they can be outnumbered or at least matched by guys from countries like Japan. At The Lord the majority of the customers are local. Unlike Japan and South Korea though the places frequented by locals in Thailand rarely refuse entrance to foreigners which is also the case at The Lord.

There are a few ways to enter The Lord. Many probably find their way through the main entrance located at the back of a large parking lot on Ratchadaphisek Road not far from the Huai Khwang MRT Station. Those who make their way inside The Lord can arrange all sorts of entertainment with the front desk including karaoke, sauna time, food and drink. Packages are even available combining all of the available entertainment in one large room with a whirlpool and other accoutrements. All of this can cost a pretty penny and regulars usually take out a membership which gets them some liquor along with better prices.

Customers looking for a high end massage experience with no need for much else can enter through the large door way on Ratchadaphisek Soi 7 where a private pull off leads right to the entrance. This is clearly visible from the little road though it probably wouldn’t be obvious to those unaware that it was a massage place.

Once inside customers enter a large and elaborate lobby that could even put some of the better hotels around to shame. Straight ahead and to the back there is a large lounge area where a handful of customers can nearly always be found sitting around in the high quality leather seats. The place is very classy. Professionally dressed floor managers help guests. While only a select few can speak English those who can are usually very good at it. Others can speak Mandarin Chinese. A team of waitresses in sexy short skirts take drink orders on request but they are not pushy at all.  There’s even a live band in the back though thankfully it plays music at a level that still allows conversation to continue on normally.

In the middle of the very large lounge area there is a circular area that draws attention. Inside this ring sit many of the women available for massage. There are not the only service providers in the building but they give a good example of the type of women available. The women tend to be in their twenties. Many are taller than the average Thai woman and have lighter skin. A few have one parent who is not Thai. More than a few have had cosmetic surgery of some kind. Nose jobs are common but artificially inflated chests are a close second. One wouldn’t expect to see any out of this world work resembling German model Beshine though since things are generally more subdued.

There’s no rush for customers to make a choice while sitting in the lounge though the floor managers can seem to prod a bit. This may be do to their employment conditions but in any event isn’t done in a way that would really bother most guys.

Customers can take recommendations from managers on massage ladies or chose one or more themselves. Customers can also ask for a particular service provider to be brought over to their seat before making a choice too. Some do this because things can be deceptive from afar especially when cosmetics and lighting come into effect. Others simply go with their instinct or something like that.

There’s a whole host of available choices for massages. There are different rooms available and other things that can come into account. Since it’s not possible to report on every single aspect here I can give a general idea of pricing. Normally a massage session from one of the women in the lounge taking place in a very nice and sizable room would cost 4000 Baht ($120 USD). This is the cost of two massages at an oily massage parlor like A Touch of Class but less than what some escorts charge for the same amount of time. Customers who want to spend time with more than one service provider or upgrade to a VIP room will of course spend more though the prices are still reasonable and generally proportionally scaled up from the rate I just mentioned.

As I’ve stated all the rooms at The Lord are nice. The VIP quarters are particularly well done and contain separate bathrooms with large tubs large enough to fit a few people. There are waitresses available to take drink orders and such from the room but they don’t come around unless requested. Things are relatively relaxing and low pressure.

There doesn’t seem to be much clock watching and the women generally know what they are doing though many are probably more popular for their looks than any special level of service. The usual clean up in the bath is followed by everything one would expect from full service in a soapy massage place. One exception would be that many of the women seem to perform oral services without a cover which is not all that common. Most women at most soapies use covers for everything. This isn’t necessarily a standard service at The Lord but it happens often enough to merit a mention.

After a session concludes the customer cleans up again and is free to head out the door. There can be a high level of pampering not seen elsewhere that includes things that probably should be standard like toweling off the customer. This is all normal practice in the Japanese soaplands the Thai soapies are based on but that seems to have largely disappeared in the age of sideliners. At The Lord the tradition continues at least in most cases.

The Lord Spa and Hotel is one of the most high end soapy massage parlors in Thailand. It’s difficult to find a lot of fault in the place since everything is well run and maintained and the women working there are generally attractive and pleasant. The price is a little higher than some other places around but that comes with the territory in a place that resembles the home of a billionaire. Besides plenty of guys drop thousands of Baht in go go bars every night sometimes ending up with nothing more than a circle of girls gulping down lady drinks around them. I think The Lord deserves four stars.

The Lord Palace Hotel and Spa. Ratchadaphisek Soi 7, Huai Khwang, Bangkok. Open every day from noon to 2 am. Phone: 022-48-8888. Website: http://www.thelord2009.com Click here for map.

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