Review: The Lord — Bangkok, Thailand

A room at The Lord Spa massage in BangkokNow that I’ve finished reviewing all of the blowjob bars in Bangkok I can focus more on other aspects of the adult entertainment industry in the capital. I started reviewing oily massage parlors in the city years ago yet I  have only just started to scratch the surface of that expansive sector. Who knows how long it would take to review them all. I may just find out but in the meantime I’ll also continue to report on the slightly smaller but no less popular soapy massage parlor scene.

The Lord Palace Spa and Hotel is a large adult entertainment complex located on Ratchadaphisek Soi 7 in the Huai Khwang area. The truly lavish building that houses the place looks more like a mansion or five star hotel than a massage parlor especially when compared to some of the dinky little shops that can be found elsewhere doing thirty minute foot rubs. The luxury looks extend to the staff and the rooms too but as can be expected it all comes with a premium price.

The Lord is for the most part aimed at Thai guys with money. While Thai customers are common at almost all soapy massage parlors other than places like Annie’s they can be outnumbered or at least matched by guys from countries like Japan. At The Lord the majority of the customers are local. Unlike Japan and South Korea though the places frequented by locals in Thailand rarely refuse entrance to foreigners which is also the case at The Lord.

There are a few ways to enter The Lord. Many probably find their way through the main entrance located at the back of a large parking lot on Ratchadaphisek Road not far from the Huai Khwang MRT Station. Those who make their way inside The Lord can arrange all sorts of entertainment with the front desk including karaoke, sauna time, food and drink. Packages are even available combining all of the available entertainment in one large room with a whirlpool and other accoutrements. All of this can cost a pretty penny and regulars usually take out a membership which gets them some liquor along with better prices.

Customers looking for a high end massage experience with no need for much else can enter through the large door way on Ratchadaphisek Soi 7 where a private pull off leads right to the entrance. This is clearly visible from the little road though it probably wouldn’t be obvious to those unaware that it was a massage place.

Once inside customers enter a large and elaborate lobby that could even put some of the better hotels around to shame. Straight ahead and to the back there is a large lounge area where a handful of customers can nearly always be found sitting around in the high quality leather seats. The place is very classy. Professionally dressed floor managers help guests. While only a select few can speak English those who can are usually very good at it. Others can speak Mandarin Chinese. A team of waitresses in sexy short skirts take drink orders on request but they are not pushy at all.  There’s even a live band in the back though thankfully it plays music at a level that still allows conversation to continue on normally.

In the middle of the very large lounge area there is a circular area that draws attention. Inside this ring sit many of the women available for massage. There are not the only service providers in the building but they give a good example of the type of women available. The women tend to be in their twenties. Many are taller than the average Thai woman and have lighter skin. A few have one parent who is not Thai. More than a few have had cosmetic surgery of some kind. Nose jobs are common but artificially inflated chests are a close second. One wouldn’t expect to see any out of this world work resembling German model Beshine though since things are generally more subdued.

There’s no rush for customers to make a choice while sitting in the lounge though the floor managers can seem to prod a bit. This may be do to their employment conditions but in any event isn’t done in a way that would really bother most guys.

Customers can take recommendations from managers on massage ladies or chose one or more themselves. Customers can also ask for a particular service provider to be brought over to their seat before making a choice too. Some do this because things can be deceptive from afar especially when cosmetics and lighting come into effect. Others simply go with their instinct or something like that.

There’s a whole host of available choices for massages. There are different rooms available and other things that can come into account. Since it’s not possible to report on every single aspect here I can give a general idea of pricing. Normally a massage session from one of the women in the lounge taking place in a very nice and sizable room would cost 4000 Baht ($120 USD). This is the cost of two massages at an oily massage parlor like A Touch of Class but less than what some escorts charge for the same amount of time. Customers who want to spend time with more than one service provider or upgrade to a VIP room will of course spend more though the prices are still reasonable and generally proportionally scaled up from the rate I just mentioned.

As I’ve stated all the rooms at The Lord are nice. The VIP quarters are particularly well done and contain separate bathrooms with large tubs large enough to fit a few people. There are waitresses available to take drink orders and such from the room but they don’t come around unless requested. Things are relatively relaxing and low pressure.

There doesn’t seem to be much clock watching and the women generally know what they are doing though many are probably more popular for their looks than any special level of service. The usual clean up in the bath is followed by everything one would expect from full service in a soapy massage place. One exception would be that many of the women seem to perform oral services without a cover which is not all that common. Most women at most soapies use covers for everything. This isn’t necessarily a standard service at The Lord but it happens often enough to merit a mention.

After a session concludes the customer cleans up again and is free to head out the door. There can be a high level of pampering not seen elsewhere that includes things that probably should be standard like toweling off the customer. This is all normal practice in the Japanese soaplands the Thai soapies are based on but that seems to have largely disappeared in the age of sideliners. At The Lord the tradition continues at least in most cases.

The Lord Spa and Hotel is one of the most high end soapy massage parlors in Thailand. It’s difficult to find a lot of fault in the place since everything is well run and maintained and the women working there are generally attractive and pleasant. The price is a little higher than some other places around but that comes with the territory in a place that resembles the home of a billionaire. Besides plenty of guys drop thousands of Baht in go go bars every night sometimes ending up with nothing more than a circle of girls gulping down lady drinks around them. I think The Lord deserves four stars.

The Lord Palace Hotel and Spa. Ratchadaphisek Soi 7, Huai Khwang, Bangkok. Open every day from noon to 2 am. Phone: 022-48-8888. Website: http://www.thelord2009.com Click here for map.

Review of The Lord hotel massage in Bangkok Thailand
4

21 Comments

  1. mauldid says:

    Gotta love these HISO places. The quality are much way better than the oilies on Suk. The rooms are very spacious and models are former penthouse pets/race queens. Bella is another great venue.

  2. Danny says:

    May i add the The Lord is a very good venue to entertain business customers….happy customers are faithful customers, in most cases.

  3. Dewey says:

    Yes but Non-Asian foreigners beware – they do have a surcharge much like Posiden, Emmanuelle, Caesars, Utopia, La Belle, Amsterdam, and La Defense. I refuse to patronize these racist establishments. You can find just as good quality elsewhere at lower prices. I prefer Copa Cabana and also I can usually find some hotties at the nearby lower priced no surcharge Colonze 2. And if you are talking about Bella in Ram Indra- I like that place too but it is quite difficult to get to from central Bangkok.

  4. Pirate of Venus says:

    Where is Bella in Ram Indra? I can’t find anything on it on the internet. I’m intrigued about getting out of the usual sex tourist areas if the price is fair…

  5. deca says:

    Gee. I went by this place. I thought it was a hotel only.

  6. hotness says:

    I checked out the Lord recently and I must say I was quite impressed with it overall – the whole place reeks of opulence. The lounge band was pleasant, the lounges were large and felt expensive, and Black & Coke was 385 baht.

    Although the circular stage where the girl sit is well-lit its not the best for viewing angles, and half of them were facing the other way so I had to do the awkward stalk all the way around the stage to get a look at all the talent (I’ll get used to this eventually). It was the day after a public holiday so talent was a bit depleted. I didn’t get a good look at the sideliners but on first glance they were pretty but not stunning. They must be minor celebrities, which is their draw card.

    There was absolutely no pressure from floor managers to choose a girl, and I actually got through 2 drinks before I called a manager over to see the price list. When I did this all the girls immediately perked up as they knew someone was about to be picked.

    I chose a (K) girl for 4900 as my first ever ‘op nuat’ girl. She walked over to my lounge and we chatted for a bit before heading off to the room. The room was clean and very elegantly decorated. We ordered some drinks and she massaged me while we chatted. Overall the service was quite sensual and cheerful, with uncovered BJ in the bath, then a wash off and onto the bed.

    She told me that The Lord is #1 and emphasized that it was for great service, and I would believe her. I am very keen to see the full lineup and will definitely make this a regular stop on my trips.

  7. steelydan says:

    Is there a good chance to find a girl that is willing to do anal at a soapy? can you recommend a particular place? Or would it be better go go to an oily?

    Thanks!

    • rockit says:

      I don’t know of any soapies that offer a regular service like that. Some women at Annie’s do it. At other soapies it isn’t common. A lot of oilies have women who offer the service openly and a few oilies even offer it as standard. Cheers.

  8. JedB110 says:

    Hi Rockit,

    Are there any etiquette or code of conduct that first time customers should be aware of before entering a place like The Lord, La Defense, Amsterdam or Poseidon?

    I’m assuming that there certain rules for customers in a place like this.

    • Deca says:

      If they do, they usually have a sign like in Jakarta. I don’t remember seeing anything like that, but of course, I have been to only a few. Some places have a sign like “no drug”, “no sex toys”, “no weapons” etc. Security guards almost always freak customers in Jakarta but not in BKK as it is more relaxed and less worried about possibly harmful customers.

    • rockit says:

      Not that I know of. Customers enter, walk over to the fishbowl, select a woman and receive their service. I don’t know of any specific rules that would be different than the norms of civil society. Cheers.

  9. manfred says:

    The place is indeed luxurious and it is priced accordingly. So far so good.
    The only aspect that I really despise are the special (i.e., more expensive) rates for farangs. The floor manager has two handy cheatsheets with the various categories of the girls (P, Q, M, etc.) and the corresponding prices. The only difference between the two lists is that the first is the regular one, while the second is the overpriced cheatsheet for farangs, which get a surcharge of about 1,000 baht or so.
    I know because in my case the manager by mistake took out the regular list first and then quickly swapped to the second, but I got to eye both…

    Honestly, I am not that annoyed by the extra 1,000 baht per se, but really by the fact that this feels like some kind of racist surcharge.

    Rockit, are you going to review Copa Cabana as well one day? It is also a luxurious and upscale place, even though not as imposing and HiSo as the Lord. The rooms at CC are still nothing to complain about and the girls are really hot, in my opinion often more beautiful and younger than the ones at the Lord. Prices are in the same ballpark, except that at CC at least I never got surcharged as far as I can tell.

    The only disadvantage of Coba Cabana is that most of the girls can hardly speak any English at all. Even worse than the 19-year-olds from the rural north at Nataree… On the other hand, most girls at the Lord can hold a conversation to some extent, as apparently the place sees a lot of westerners.

    Also, CC can be really empty on the slow days, with just a handful of girls around. Sunday and Monday is usually pointless to show up. On the weekend and on Tuesday (IIRC), however, there is plenty of choice.

    • rockit says:

      Thanks for the report. I may review Copa Cabana at some point in the future but I can’t be sure. Cheers.

  10. Fidel says:

    Is it still open?

  11. guy says:

    my buddy said he saw some smoking hot girls here, the best he has seen in bangkok

    • Deca says:

      Thank you I will check it out in May. I didn’t see any smoking hot girls in Macau but Ive seen some hotties in BKK a few times already in the past. cheers!!

    • rockit says:

      There are many women at The Lord who would be described as beautiful by a lot of people. They fit the magazine model type of mold. Cheers.

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