Review: The Eden Club — Bangkok, Thailand

The Eden Club is one of the older shops in Bangkok offering the “porn star experience” (PSE) at a moderate rate.

The Eden Club is located on Sukhumvit Soi 7/1, not far from Dr. BJ’s Nuru Massage. Getting there is easy, just take exit one out of Nana Station on the BTS, or have a cab or tuk tuk drop you off on the corner.

The shop isn’t in a discreet location, but the street itself is. And hey, this is Bangkok we’re talking about. A number of women on the staff will be outside waiting to tempt passing guys inside. Any western men on this street must be looking for sex, as there is really no other reason to be there. Once you walk inside you’ll take a quick seat at the bar and wait for the owner to greet you.

The shop is owned by a middle-aged French guy who frankly speaking is a little creepy. He seems to always be there during business hours, which in itself isn’t too strange. But his in your face approach and way of talking is not very comfortable to say the least. Imagine a male porn star from the 1980’s and you’ll be about halfway there. That’s my opinion anyway. That’s what you’re here to read, right?

He will give you a rundown of the rules in English, and explain that at his shop taking two women is standard. As this is happening, a lineup of all the available women will form. There are usually 2 dozen or so. Girls to the left of the line on the way do anal. Girls on the right of the line do not. It’s suggested that you pick a woman you like and then let her pick a friend to go with her. You get better chemistry this way.

Most of the women here are not great looking. Don’t get me wrong, they are a lot better than the selection you might find at a Wal-Mart in Minnesota, but by Thai sex industry standards they are mostly on the lower end.

A lot of the women who work here seem to be pretty “experienced,” in their 30’s or possibly even their 40’s. In theory this could mean that they know more about how to please a guy, but in this case it seems only to mean that they are hardened and in a lot of cases even burned out.

There are times when pounding away at a hardcore whore could be something you want. But the experience here is supposed to be a lot more. This is supposed to be a place where a guy can go to live out his fantasies. I don’t know many guys that fantasize about 40 year old sex workers with saggy tits and stretch marks.

Some of the girls are cute, but it can be tough getting a good look at their bodies. You may end up picking a girl with a cute face who in turn will pick an unattractive friend. Then, when you get to the room, you’ll find out that the cute girl’s body is wrecked and the unattractive one looks a lot better. You never know.

It is also possible that I’ve just visited at “bad times,” or when the most beautiful women were booked. But since I’ve tried the place multiple times, never been there at the same time as another customer (at least that I’ve seen coming in or out), and have always had dozens of ladies to choose from, I doubt it.

Regardless, you should be able to find something manageable. When you do, you and your new lady friends will head upstairs.

A 90 minute session, which is the standard here, runs 3900 baht ($128 US), payable to the female Thai cashier behind the bar after you finish. The action happens on premises. Out-call is available, but at a higher rate. You can tip if you’d like but it’s not expected at all.

The rooms are clean and private. An old school box TV is hanging from the ceiling of each, with some hardcore threesome porn playing. It appears to be European stuff most of the time. The ceilings are mirrored, which even though a bit cheesy sounding is actually a nice touch. There is a nicely sized clean bathroom and shower in each room as well. Things can actually be a bit mechanical because of this in my opinion, with some ladies constantly showering and brushing their teeth in between every little event. This, combined with the condom putting on and taking off of condoms can be a bit annoying. I guess that’s just the nature of the game though.

When you enter you will shower and brush your teeth, and the ladies will follow. Afterwards you will head to the bed. Usually one of the girls will start sucking you while the other is still getting cleaned. After that, the threesome action begins. And this is where I always have my “problems” (if you can call them that, a lot of people around the world are sexless or even starving). Sure the shag is good enough, and I always get at least two loads off, but there is something lacking. You really have direct the women that work here. If you don’t ask specifically for something, even if it’s “standard” in a threesome, you won’t get it. If you don’t tell one girl to go down on the other, they won’t. If you don’t explicitly ask for this or that position or combination, you won’t get it. Even if you pick a “three-holer” from the left side of the anal line, you won’t get any booty action unless you say “now I’d like to pump your butt,” or something similar. If you just lay back and try to let them do the work, you’ll get vanilla oral and full service from each lady, one at a time.

There are times when taking charge is not only okay but great. But when I come to a place that supposed to offer porn star experience hardcore action I expect the women servicing me to take the lead. That’s what I’m paying for, but yet it has never happened for me here. I even repeated my visits to Eden and tried many different women on their staff to see if this was just a fluke, but it really doesn’t seem to be.

I’m sure the management would say that I should have talked to them about poor or mediocre service. But who really wants to do that? The whole setup is already a bit cold and impersonal for my tastes. I’d rather not make it worse on myself.

I have nothing against the women who work here anyway, and I did not want to cause them any trouble. I’m sure their job is already tough enough.

As an aging in-call facility with many unattractive women and offering mechanical performance on the regular, it’s hard for me to give Eden a high rating. Maybe if it was somewhere else, I’d lower the standard. But here in Thailand where there is just so much sex available I can’t justify it, especially with the rates being what they are. I give The Eden Club a star and a half. After three visits, I probably wouldn’t return. The place does continue to be popular though, so maybe I just don’t “get it.” Visit for yourself and see what you think.

The Eden Club, Sukhumvit Soi 7/1, Bangkok, Thailand. Website: http://www.edenbangkok.com/ Phone: +66 (0) 2255 4672 Open seven days a week from noon to midnight.

**UPDATE: The price for a 90 minute session is now 4200 Baht as of January, 2015.**

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