Review: Telephone Bar — Pattaya, Thailand
One of the first topics I ever wrote about on this website was blowjob bars. Since that first post I’ve made many others on this unique set up that exists in various forms in a handful of Asian countries. After posting dozens of reviews of blowjob bars some even said I was reaching the end.
It seems they were right. Outside of countless pinsaros in Japan that I will likely never gain access to and countless other blowjob barbershops in Vietnam that I wouldn’t review here, I have basically covered all that there is to cover. Well almost. There are still a handful of pecker polishing pubs operating publicly that I have yet to review. Today that short list will become just a little shorter.
The Telephone Bar is a blowjob bar located just far enough from the tourist areas of Pattaya to keep it a secret to most who visit. With the help of the grapevine and a little bit of internet searching the place is easy enough to find but with so much else available most short time visitors to the city probably wouldn’t bother.
The entrance of the Telephone bar is a repurposed telephone booth. To get in punters have to ring a bell next to the door and smile for the closed circuit camera which broadcasts everything going on in the street outside to the management behind the bar.
Once inside customers are confronted with a nice bar filled with a dozen or so friendly women who range in age from the mid twenties on up to some point probably higher than I’d like to know. There policy is to stand up and vocally greet each customer in unison. There’s absolutely no pressure put on customers at all though new comers frequently seem to be asked how they found out about the place. I guess that makes sense since it’s off the beaten trail though I would imagine that the owners should expect at least walk in traffic since they promote their business online. In any event it doesn’t matter much since the question seems more based on curiosity than anything else. According to their online promotions the Telephone Club offers a 250 Baht ($8 US) discount to any new customer that tells the cashier they are a friend of the bar’s facebook page.
Customers can pony up to the bar and buy themselves a reasonably priced drink with no bother. If they want company all they have to do is signal to any one of the women sitting in the seats around the room. If the customer purchases a lady drink the gal joining him will instantly pull her top down to expose her jugs. In print this sounds like it could be awkward or mechanical but in person it feels as smooth as silk. If go go bars had a similar policy I’m sure they’d have many more happy customers. As it stands punters in many establishments are forced to guess exactly what sits under a padded bra before they shell out for a bar fine.
At a BJ bar the size and shape of a gal’s cans aren’t necessarily the most important thing. Service is the name of the game. As the greeting and instant exposure for a drink would indicate the customer is king at Telephone.
If and when a guy is ready he can ask a lady or two to join him in the back for a little fun on the kind that the place is known for. The charge for this is 800 Baht ($25 US) per lady which is in tune with some other shops in the area but a little higher than places like Lolita’s.
The back room is large for its purpose and set up rather well. There is good seating and its easy for both the guy and the service provider to get comfortable. The skill level and style varies from one gal to the next but suffice to say if they work at a place like this they probably know what they are doing.
The Telephone bar doesn’t have an in-room sink like some other operations but there is a clean full bathroom for anyone who wants to use it. Those who are fine with the way things are will just get the old wet nap wipe down.
After things are done and cleaned up customers can head back out into the bar or simply settle their tab and leave. Something to note is that the service providers are happy to sit next to a punter after the deed is done without asking for more lady drinks or tips. Guys who wish can pony up for these things and the women will happily accept but it’s nice to know that there’s no pressure in this department either.
If I went solely by the looks of the women working at the Telephone Club I would probably only give it a star or two, but as always I have to take everything into account. The women who work at Telephone are warm and welcoming and one or two are actually real lookers. Even though I don’t usually care much for theme bars I have to give the designers credit for putting together an intriguing interior. Most important of all is the level of service which is quite high and includes little extras like pulling out the sweater puppies when a guy springs for a drink. Secluded, quiet and clean, in my opinion the Telephone Bar deserves four stars.
Telephone Bar, Pattaya Tai (Soi Batman), Pattaya, Thailand. Click here for a map. Open seven days a week from 9 AM to 10 PM. Phone: 085-433-4073.