Review: Som’s Haven — Bangkok, Thailand

Som's Haven Bangkok

The view of the side alley from Soi 14. Som’s is just behind the big white truck you see parked.

Som’s Haven is yet another blowjob bar in operation in the Thai capital of Bangkok that opened about a year ago. With so many blowjob bars around it can be difficult for one to stand out over the other. So how does Som’s manage?

Som’s is owned by none other than Som herself. Who would have guessed right? As you might imagine, Som is a former blowjob bar employee who decided to branch out on her own. This is not an entirely novel concept. It’s happened plenty of times before, in the pecker polishing pub field as in many others.

What set’s Som’s suck shop apart is her willingness to make sure the customer has a good time. She is an attractive lady who seems to hang around the place during all opening hours. She can usually be found right behind the counter, welcoming customers as they enter and asking them how things were as they settle their tabs on the way out.

A frequent commenter on this site who goes by the name of Ed has complimented Som’s “hands on” orientation when recommending the place to me. I sort of hoped that meant she would put her hands down my pants when I entered. You never know, it is after all Thailand. Unfortunately that never happened.

Beyond Som herself, who I’m quite sure is not available for mouth-to-meat services, the place is pretty standard. Small pluses include the English-speaking ability of nearly everyone on staff and the cleanliness of the shop. Another positive feature is the presence of small sinks in all of the service rooms (similar to Dr BJ’s).

The small but suitable staff waits outside for customers to approach. When they do they can either chose a girl on their own or simply take whoever is next in the lineup.

The women who work here are a varied mix. Most are at least somewhat attractive. The oldest is approaching 40 years in age but still looks quite nice. Strangely enough she doesn’t have a lot of experience in the industry, coming into the game late in life. Anyone on staff should be able to satisfy all, uh… comers.

When you step inside you’d be forgiven for thinking the action takes place right there. Booth-type seating that looks a lot like what you’d see in a Japanese blowjob bar like Jan Jan is laid out in two rows. Alas, this is not Star of Light. It’s Som’s, and here, like Lolita’s, the action takes place upstairs.

Unlike Lolita’s, the Haven of Som has individual rooms available for clients and their service providers. No chairs with curtains around them. The rooms are quite big considering what they are to be used for. They’re also well maintained and Som has gone as far as to decorate them with small pieces of art. A nice touch that gives you something to look at other than the ceiling or a bobbing noggin.

The prices are about what you would expect. It’s 700 Baht ($23) a go. You can have a drink either before or after your session at a reasonable price, but there’s no pressure to do so even though Som and the staff seem to like to entertain in the main area of the bar.

If there’s any real downside to Som’s it would have to be the location though I guess that would depend on who you ask. It’s an easy place to find, just down the first alley to the right once you walk down Soi 14 from Sukhumvit Road. It just so happens to be next to the extremely popular Suda restaurant  though. For me it’s no issue. I walk right in and right out. No biggie. For others it may be a matter of shame. Luckily for those chaps Som’s seems to have thought of everything. Just walk down the next (very quiet) alley to the right and enter through the back door with none of the diners any the wiser. If the door is locked a light knock will get it opened quicker than you can say “spit shine.”

As a quality hands free bar in Bangkok offering a good level of service from a pretty quality staff, I think Som’s Haven deserves a solid three stars. Some may find even find it a little better depending on their criteria. It’s really no worse than Dr. BJ’s, which I gave 4 stars in an earlier review. Som’s is actually more comfortable. The main difference is that BJ’s has a huge staff while Som’s staff is pretty small, though that’s probably by design. I have to account for that.

Som’s Haven. 6/8 Sukhumvit Soi 14. Open seven days a week from noon to midnight. Phone: 081-007-4841 Website: http://www.somhaven.com (includes map).

105 Comments

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