Review: Pirates — Pattaya, Thailand

I have been writing about blowjob bars on this website from the very beginning. Since these bars are mainly limited to Japan and Thailand most of the focus has been on those two countries though similar venues in places like Vietnam have also been covered. It took me years to review all of the pole polishing pubs in Bangkok and just when I thought I had finished that task I realized that there was still more to write about.

The city of Pattaya is internationally known for its adult entertainment scene even if some tourism officials wish it wasn’t. The city is probably more identified with such business than any other on earth. It is only fitting then that there are a lot of handsfree bars in the area. I have written about quite a few but there are still plenty more to go including several that have opened recently.

In Pattaya there is a whole group of bars referred to as gentlemen’s clubs. These have nothing to do with the strip clubs that call themselves gentlemen’s clubs in the US or the private male social clubs in the United Kingdom that probably originated the name. The gentlemen’s clubs in Pattaya are basically bars located off the beaten path and frequented mainly by guys who live in the area. They maintain a staff of women and tend to offer the same kinds of services as the other suck shops in the country though they can have a more private feel.

I reviewed a bar called Club 4 at the end of 2014. At the time I gave it a high score but a subsequent raid that led to naught and a change in ownership really shook things up. Today I would probably review it differently and if time allows I will try to go over the place again. Time is always an issue. In the time since Club 4 went through its changes a number of new but very similar bars have opened right next to it. One is 007 which I reviewed at the end of 2015. Another is a new incarnation of the previously reviewed Carre Blanc. Pirate is the final shop making up this modern blow row.

Pirate’s is at the end of the row housing the aforementioned businesses. The sign is obvious even if the area isn’t. Customers ring a bell to be given access. Everyone seems to be let inside so the bell is probably just a security precaution.

Although all of the clubs in the immediate area are housed in the same sort of structure they are organized in different ways. Pirate is a very nice club set up with a huge round bar at the front. To the side there are some lounge style chairs. A set of private blue booths is located in the back basically out of view from the rest of the bar. A small Thai women who manages the place is usually on hand. She can speak English pretty well and likes to be friendly with customers.

Pirate has a sort of nautical theme in the same way that 007 has a sort of Bond theme. That means that there are some pictures and small items around that play off of the name but that is about it. Unlike 007 and Club 4 there doesn’t seem to be any uniform at Pirate. The women wear their street clothes which truth be told usually aren’t all that attractive.

There are around six to ten women working at Pirate at most times. They tend to be in their twenties and thirties. They are mostly average in appearance with a few being on the chubby side. Some can speak a little English. Some cannot. At least one can speak French. Many smoke cigarettes and smoke them often. While they are nice enough some do things like blowing snot out of their noses in clear view of everyone else around which is probably not something most customers would want to see.

Drinks are reasonably priced. The same goes for lady drinks. Rates match those in the many beer bars around town but Pirate is a lot nicer inside with new tables and chairs and fully functioning air conditioning. The interior is in really good shape but its possible that this will not last if boogies continue to be launched around with no regard for the furniture.

The same kinds of oral services offered at the other bars in the strip are available from most of the women working at Pirate. Customers simply need to request a trip to one of the booths in the back. Rates are normal for the area at 800 Baht ($23 USD) all in. Full service in the private rooms upstairs runs around 1000 Baht ($29 USD) all included.

Service always depends on any number of factors. Different service providers act different ways at different times and with different people. At any place with several women on staff there is really no way to give an exact idea of how things are done at all times and in all situations. Suffice to say that the women at Pirate know what they are doing but may not be entirely into their work. The oddly shaped booths at Pirate don’t help much with this. Even an enthusiastic expert may have time working around a couch shaped like the letter L.

The Pirates Hostess Club is a well appointed private bar for guys looking to take a load off. It is run by a bubbly woman who offers drinks at reasonable rates. It is a lot like the other bars in the immediate area. As another option in what is becoming an exceptional little part of town I give it an average score of two-and-a-half stars.

Pirates Hostess Club, Soi Full Love Inn, Pattaya, Thailand. Open 7 days a week from noon to midnight. Click here for a map.

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