Review: Lolita’s (LK Metro) — Pattaya, Thailand (Closed)

Lolita's Pattaya Blow Job Bar!

Lolita’s blowjob bar in the middle of Pattaya’s LK Metro. This is where they used to make magic with their mouths.

Note: This is the review of the old, closed shop on LK Metro. Click here for a review of the new Lolita’s on Soi Chaiyapoon.

Lolita’s is a blowjob bar in Pattaya, Thailand, set apart from the multitude of others that exist by its premier decor and special features. Or I should it was set apart. The owner died a little while ago and the place was put up on the auction block. It was purchased and re-purposed as Crystal Club A-Go-Go.

What’s in a name? At Lolita’s only a little bit. There weren’t any particularly young girls working there. The name came from the original Lolita’s blowjob bar in Bangkok, which thankfully is still going strong. It became a sort of chain of blowjob bars with the Pattaya location, a shop in Hua Hin and another shop in Nakhon Phanom Province opening after the original. I say “sort of” because each location was independently owned and operated.

As with any other blowjob bar in Thailand, a number of women would wait outside in chairs trying to beckon you inside. You’d chose the lady (or ladies) you liked and step in. Lolita’s was located on LK Metro, a small L-shaped street in Pattaya that is loaded with great go go bars, coyote bars and sex shops, without the often ridiculous crowds of Walking Street.

What raised Lolita’s Pattaya above the rest of the “chain” and the other blowjob bars in Pattaya was always the decor. It was set up a bit more like a men’s lounge than the typical down and dirty slurp shop. It didn’t start that way, but after some renovations it was transformed into something special.

Inside the layout was spacious and well appointed. There were booths, a pool table, reading material and free wifi (so you could surf and get sucked simultaneously with the aid of a smartphone or tablet of course). There were stools situated about, along with mirrors and quality chairs, and even the floor looked nice. The whole place slightly reminded me of a classic diner, except that here the waitresses would blow you instead of just blowing you off. Along with a full range of liquor, they also had an extensive coffee menu.

The staff wasn’t bad at all either. As I have written elsewhere, blowjob bars in Thailand tend to employee some of the less attractive women to be found in Siam’s massive pay for sex industry. In part that comes with the job. Lolita’s Pattaya always had a decent lineup, with at least one or two really beautiful women working. Indeed in the early years I would even say the staff was on average quite good looking.  As time when on the general looks of the staff started to go down hill, along with everything else.

In its last year of life Lolita’s went through a number of changes. Free pool and weekly live music shows disappeared along with the wireless internet. Everything I’ve heard has attributed this to the passing of the American owner. Sounds like a liquidation to me, and not the kind that used to happen there several times a day.

Yes you could still get sucked off by a woman in a cute little uniform for a little over 20 bucks. For that reason it continued attracted customers, even though it was clear to most what was in the making. What was an obvious end has now manifested itself. The new go go bar isn’t bad. In fact it’s got quite a nice selection. I was still sorry to learn of the demise of Lolita’s. I guess change is the only constant.

The only problem I ever had with Lolita’s was that you had to go upstairs to get the actual mouth-on-cock services. After some up close and personal play with a woman in a booth on the main floor, the last thing I wanted to do was stand up with a hard-on and make the trek up a flight of steps. It may sound ridiculous to complain about having to walk a few feet to get your salami slurped. What can I say? The convenience of sex for sale has spoiled me. Plus I remember the good old days.

It used to be that blowjob bars specialized in semi-public blowjobs, right out in the open at the bar. Places on Soi Post Office even had holes cut out under the bar so you could the staff member of your choice could swallow your member while you nursed a cold beer. While that seems to have all but disappeared in recent years, you can still get blown at a booth just off to the side on the main floor at places like My Friend You Bar. Sure you can get a room upstairs for a few more baht, but you don’t have to. In my opinion that’s a real benefit that adds both to the convenience and the sleaziness. At places like Dr. BJ’s Salon in Bangkok (and Lolita’s, when it was around) any real action can only take place in private booths. It doesn’t stop me from visited those shops, but I do sometimes long for the days of a pint and a prick polishing.

To be totally honest, I wasn’t a huge fan of the buffets or parties they would sometimes put on either. Call me a hermit, but I like to search out my glob gobblers in peace.

As a decent Thai blowjob bar with a layout that made it a cut about the rest, I give Lolita’s Pattaya a solid 3.5 star rating.

(Disclaimer: As much as a half a star may have been given as a result of nostalgia. I’m sad to see Lolita’s go.)

I apologize for producing this review after the shop closed. It should still give you an idea of what exists in Pattaya. I planned on writing it for a while. The news of the closure inspired me to finally get to it. I never expended such a monument would shut down. It’s a sad day in the Land of Smiles.

Lolita’s, LK Metro, Pattaya, Thailand. Was open from 11 am until the early morning hours. Now sadly shuttered. The Lolita’s Pattaya website is still online here (it has links to the websites of other locations).

 

12 Comments

  1. ed August 13, 2013
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