Review: Familia Nobre Sauna — Macau
Dollar for dollar, Familia Nobre is probably the best of all of the amazing men’s saunas in Macau in my opinion. What makes it so? Keep reading to find out.
As I’ve previously written on this site Macau’s layout can take a little time to get used to, but once you have it figured out Familia Nobre is very easy to find. Those with navigational issues will be happy to know that there is a gigantic neon sign over the entrance bright enough to indicate the location from quite a distance. You’d have to be blind to miss it (though I think even our sight impaired brothers would be able to feel the warmth given off by the truly massive signage).
Guys who prefer to travel Macau by taxi should note that the Chinese name of Familia Nobre is Hao Men (pronounced a lot like “how moon”). Most cab drivers should know where it is. Even if they don’t they’ll probably just pretend like they do until they accidentally run into it anyway, so no worries either way.
Like any of the other saunas around town, things are pretty straight forward at Familia. You walk inside and past the front desk to the locker area where an attendant or two will help you undress and put all of your things in a locker. Then you’ll get a numbered wrist band which is used to track your purchases and open the locker on the way out. You’ll wrap yourself in the provided down, put on the slippers they give you and then head to the showers.
Despite being one of the most inexpensive saunas in Macau, Familia has a really exquisite layout. Even the showers are well done, and there are plenty of them. It’s quite pleasing that in many visits I’ve never been in direct site of a middle-aged Chinese man’s ass.
Every sauna in Macau has some sort of water you can plunk yourself down in. They’re usually pretty decent. Familia has a great set up.
After your done wetting yourself down you head to the drying area where you’ll be helped into a pair of shorts and a robe. Although it might not mean much to some, I really appreciate that the shorts and robe here are a little more modern than they are at some of the other saunas in Macau. Unlike the short shorts they dole out at Emperor Sauna the trunks at Familia go almost down to the knee. There’s enough eye candy in the saunas as it is. I don’t need to provide any more for the other customers.
Once you get dried off and robed up you can head to the lounge which is very large, very clean and very comfortable. There are a number of chairs filling several rows. The chairs are also spaced out nicely so that even in the off chance you had to sit near another punter you would still have a certain level of peace. That’s another plus.
As with any other sauna you will be covered with a towel and asked if you’d like anything to eat or drink. They have all the standards at Familia and the food is quite alright. That it’s free only makes it taste better. You can also eat in the dining area if you’d like. I prefer that when I get something hot or potentially messy. As a bonus it gives you a clear view of all the women on staff for full service as they walk past each and every time a line up is called by a customer. I once saw the women walk past me and back again four times before finishing a bowl of soup.
Familia Sauna also offers all of the lounge services customers like me have come to know and love. One set of ladies does foot massages. Another does ear cleaning and shoulder massages. The women are in their 20s, 30s or 40s. Most are attractive enough, but they clearly weren’t hired for looks. This is all standard. What makes Familia stand out in the floor services department is that the gals who do the “inner thigh massages” here are for the most part absolutely beautiful. They are easy to spot as they wear tight red shirts and sexy black skirts (as opposed to the usual outfits that look like they are just nurse scrumps with a piece of frilly fabric in the front, with Sanado being the notable exception) and heels high enough to pop their asses out like they are calling for you.
The inner thigh massages at Familia are done in a private room with a nice reclining chair and a television. You can lay back and enjoy a drink, watch some porn and get your meat gently lubed up and worked. It’s not heaven but it’s quite close. If you go for several sessions you can be made to cum this way, but it’s better to use it as a warm up and then go for full service later on. Another great feature at Familia is that the thigh massage girls can actually perform the full service if you hit it off and they’re up for it. Keep in mind this is totally up to them, but it’s nice that the option exists.
When you’ve had enough food, drinks, food rubs and cock cuddles, you can call for a line up. Familia is very good with this as the line up is done quickly and effectively. That’s some feat considering how many women are available for full service. I’ve seen as many as four dozen on duty during the day and even more than that at night. They represent a range of countries. On my most recent visit I saw one African gal, one Latina, two women from Russia or some CIS country (I wasn’t interested enough to inquire exactly which), and more Chinese and Vietnamese women than you could shake 10 dicks at. In the past I’ve seen women from many other countries on staff too.
The women are dressed in very sexy outfits for the line up. Very revealing bikinis and perhaps a tiny bit of lace, and of course high heels. Once you chose your lady she will take you by the hand and direct you to the full service rooms in the back.
The rooms at Familia are quite nice. You get the usual bed, shower and television set up, and it’s all very well maintained. Your session will start with the shower. You’ll be washed front and back, both by hand and also by your lady of the hour sliding her soaped up breasts, pussy and ass all over your body. This will be punctuated by blowjob after blowjob. If you get lucky you’ll end up with one of the girls who specializes in the hot water suck job. That’s a real treat.
After the shower you head to the bed and dry off while your gal cleans off the shower and herself. Then the real fun begins. Each woman on staff has their own style of foreplay. All are good. The mouthwash hummer is better than it sounds and some of the other stuff is out of this world.
Once that’s done, she’ll slide a condom on your engorged sword with her mouth and begin the journey. Expect a girl who really knows what she’s doing. I’ve seen some guys say they’ve had mechanical service at some saunas in the past, but at Familia that has never been my experience. There have been plenty of times that things have gone off script and I’ve even ended up with my finger and tongue in all sorts of places that most massage gals in the saunas will say is not available while they’re working. I’d like to think it’s because I’m such a good lover but instead I’ll give the benefit of the doubt to Familia since they provide such good service in every other avenue.
After the full service is through you’ll be cleaned up and directed back to the lounge where you can get some more services or just hang out. You can get discounts on full service after the first woman you take or you can eat some more free food. You can also sleep. Most guys take a nap in the chairs but there are also nice little sleeping booths available. These look a little bit too much like the drawer beds at Kramer’s apartment to me, but that’s just my opinion. In a pinch I’d be happy to saw logs there.
If you’ve read previous Macau sauna reviews I’ve written you’ll notice that I tend lose the number memory function of my brain while inside. This is as much because of how many different services I tend to go through as it is a sign of how relaxed I am when enjoying the services. I’ll stick with my previous practice and give you an idea of what a few hours of real fun costs. Luckily I still have a receipt so I can give you a grand total that I’m sure is right. During my last visit I went for three handjob sessions, four foot massages (one woman on each foot twice), two shoulder and neck massages, one ear cleaning, and one round of full service fun with a spectacular 19 year old Vietnamese woman who could even teach this old dog a few things. All that ran me 2700 Hong Kong Dollars, which equals about 348 US dollars. Not bad, especially considering the cash back I get on the purchase for using my Visa rewards card!
I’ll reiterate here what I wrote at the opening of this entry: Familia Nobre is probably the best sauna in Macau. That’s really saying something considering the competition. I do take price to account, and it’s really amazing that such service is available for as much as 30 percent less than what it costs at equally nice saunas only footsteps away. I give Familia Nobre five stars. This only the second time I’ve given out the top score in the history of this site but I am confident that my rating is completely fitting.
Familia Nobre, 249 Alameda Dr. Carlos d’Assumpcao, Macau. Open seven days a week, 24 hours a day. Telephone: 2881 0000. Click here for a map of Macau’s male entertainment venues.