Review: EZ Massage 1 — Bangkok, Thailand

Anna at EZ Massage Bangkok

Anna, one of the lovely ladies working at EZ Massage.

Bangkok is loaded with almost every sort of adult avenue imaginable, from go gos to blowjob bars. Perhaps most common of all are the massage parlors, which can be found all over the city. Massage parlors in Thailand operate on a few different models. There are the “regular” or “mainstream” massage parlors that offer things like Thai and foot massage for a few dollars. Many individual masseuses in these shops will offer extras to male clients to make a few extra dollars, but it’s not the basis of the operation. Then there are the soapy massage parlors, where women will cover themselves in soapy suds before sliding around on your body and then giving you the “full service.” Finally, there are the oily massage parlors, which offer a variety of massage options followed by a hand, oral or full service finish at the end.

While there are plenty of each type of massage parlor around, I think there are many more oilies than soapies in existence. Amidst such competition, it’s even more notable that EZ Massage in the Sukhumvit section of Thailand’s capital city really stands out.

EZ Massage has two locations, both very near to each other. I’m familiar with shop number 1, and so that’s the location I will be reviewing in this post.

EZ Massage is located in a little side street just off of Sukhumvit Soi 24. The little street is filled with massage shops, but it’s not difficult to locate EZ, which is clearly marked with a sign. Once you enter the door you’ll immediately head up a small flight of stairs where you will be greeted by the mamasan. She’ll show you a menu and ask you which course you’d like. There are a few options.

In many oilies, the house only charges you a base rate of around 500 baht, with the rest going to the masseuse in the form of an appropriate tip. The usual expected tip is 500 for hand services, 1000 for oral and 1500 for full service. At EZ Massage, things are simplified with an all inclusive pricing system. At the rates charged you would expect to get full service if you so desire, and in fact you absolutely can. The only question then is which kind of massage you want (Thai, oil, gel, lotion or aroma), and the amount of time. There isn’t a lot of variation in price with the various massage options. The cheapest is the Thai massage at 1900 baht ($62) and the more expensive aroma, gel and lotion massages go for 2100 baht ($68). Upping the length of the massage from the standard hour to 90 or 120 minutes will only increase the cost a few hundred more baht. The most expensive options are things like 2 hour gel massages, but at only 2500 baht ($81) they still represent a great value. You don’t need to go any higher than the one hour Thai or oil massage, though it certainly won’t hurt if you decide to.

Once you choose your course, you will then be shown a photo book from which to select your masseuse. In my opinion the best practice at EZ and all other massage shops is to ask to see a lineup of the available staff. I find this to be much more effective as it allows you to see the women in person and get an idea of their attitude, while at the same time preventing the heartbreak of selecting a real hottie from the photos only to discover that she is all booked up for the night. When the mamasan calls the lineup, the available women at the time will stand in front of you in the lobby so that you can make your choice.

The staff selection at EZ Massage is quite good. There is a lot of variety and there should be someone there to satisfy every taste. If you absolutely couldn’t find someone you liked, I suppose you could check out the other EZ Massage shop around the corner, or come back later, but I’ve never found this necessary and I don’t imagine anyone else but the most picky would either. Judging from the photos on their website, there is in fact a nice selection of women working at EZ Massage number 2. I will have to check it out in the future and compare, if I can build up the willpower to walk past the street EZ number 1 is located on.

Cat EZ Massage Bangkok

Cat is another of the lovely ladies employed at EZ Massage.

A note about the mama here is deserved. Thai people are generally considered friendly, though the rigors of spending hours dealing with guys like me has to take its toll. You can see it in the faces of many a mamasan. At EZ Massage the mama is not only outwardly nice, she is genuinely kind. During one visit I made an off handed remark about having a headache. Within minutes she had some medicine for me to take, retrieved from a nearby store. What’s more, she didn’t even ask me to pay for it. That’s service! She’s also much younger than one might expect, at least judging by her appearance.

Once you choose your lady, you’ll be asked to take off your shoes and slide on a pair of slippers. Your masseuse will then gather her tools of the trade and lead you upstairs to your room. The rooms at EZ Massage aren’t huge, but they aren’t tiny either. There’s plenty of space to maneuver and do everything you need to get done. They’re also clean, which is not always the case at massage parlors in Bangkok. Additionally, each room is fitted with a large shower room, which is great since it means you don’t have to walk around in the hallways wrapped in a towel just to get your pre and post massage rinses.

Once in your room, you will disrobe and be taken into the shower where your masseuse will soap you up with a sudsy gel and wash you off. Of course, special attention will be paid to the most intimate of areas. Once your shower is finished, the masseuse will finish rinsing herself off, and then you will both dry and head to the bed, which is clean and comfortable.

Next, you will lay down on your stomach just as you would at any other massage parlor. The massage you chose will come next. Of course it won’t be the greatest massage in the world, but since that’s not the principle reason for visiting a place like this, you won’t mind. Truth be told, the massages here are actually decent. They are made even better by the services that follow.

Once you’re told to flip over, the real fun will begin. What happens exactly will be up to you and the masseuse you chose, but a combination of hand, oral and full services should be up for grabs. All you have to do is enjoy. The staff at EZ Massage is particularly skilled, even when compared to the women that work at other massage shops. They are also great at making you feel good and feel comfortable. They watch you instead of watching the clock waiting for your time to end. I doubt there are any clients who leave unhappy.

Once the fun time is over, you’ll be showered again. Then you can dry off and leisurely get dressed. Your masseuse will walk you back downstairs and all the way out the door. Whether or not you tip is your choice. If you have a few hundred baht to spare you certainly can, though you won’t receive any bad looks or poor treatment if you don’t.

I don’t generally make recommendations about specific women working at massage parlors. One reason is that each person has their own tastes. Another is that women working in massage parlors tend to go from one place to another. With that said, I do want to make mention of one employee at EZ Massage. So many guys out there seem to be on a permanent hunt for a Bangkok masseuse who is both beautiful and in possession of large natural breasts. EZ Massage has them covered with staff member Orange. She’s 20, very cute, very sweet, and quiet well endowed. She has been working at EZ for a while, and I don’t think she has any intention to leave in the immediate future. Her photo is available on the website for those interested.

For those who prefer not to visit the shop in person, or simply can’t get there for whatever reason, EZ Massage also offers outcall services, sending a masseuse or two to your location in Bangkok for only a few hundred baht more than the normal rate. This is also a great option for people who have visited before and have a favorite staff member they’d like to spend some alone time with.

As one of the best massage parlors in Bangkok (and again, that really is saying something), I give EZ Massage a solid 4.5 stars.

EZ Massage 1 is located at 3/4 Soi Kasem Sukhumvit Soi 24. Open 11 am to midnight, seven days a week. It’s very easily reached from the BTS, situated only a minute or two by foot from Phrom Phong Station. Click here for a map. Website: http://www.ezmassagebkk.com Phone: +6626636938

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