Review: Emperor Sauna — Macau
As readers of this website know, I have traveled near and far sampling the best and worst of what’s available in the form of adult entertainment. I tell you with all sincerity that Macau is one of the best places in the world you can go to get your rocks off for a set fee, and the Emperor Sauna is a part of the reason why.
Those who have never had the pleasure of visiting one of Macau’s male saunas may have a hard time imagining everything that goes on within them. Since so few of the customers seem to be English-speaking I would guess that majority of Western men have no idea these places even exist. Although the clientele of the saunas are mostly Chinese people of all nationalities are welcomed inside which is refreshingly different from places like South Korea and Japan that have huge adult industries but keep them mostly closed off to foreigners. With prostitution being totally legal in Macau, these facilities are often attached to and operated by hotel and casino companies that know what customer service means. That extends fully to their adult entertainment offerings.
The Emperor Sauna is easy enough to find, even in the sometimes confusing layout of streets that is Macau. Just enter the Emperor building, get in the lift and head to the third floor. You will be greeted at the counter but you don’t need to stop there. That’s where you pay on the way out.
Instead head to the locker area where a male attendant will show you to your locker. Unlike some of the other saunas around town the guys here don’t usually hang around and wait while you get undressed. Some may chalk this up to a lack of customer care but I feel more comfortable taking my clothes off without one or two guys staring at my junk. You can feel confident that your things will be safe in the lockers at Macau saunas. To open them requires both the key of an attendant and the key they give you to wear around your wrist, which is numbered to track any purchases you make in the sauna.
You don’t take anything inside the saunas including money. Your bill is settled on the way out. The only exception is that you can take your phone if you’d like. All saunas in Macau are equipped with wireless internet access and cellphone chargers.
After you undress, wrap yourself up in the provided towel and slide on the provided slippers, you can head to the showers. These are reached by going around the pool. There aren’t as many showers as there are at some of the other saunas around town but it doesn’t matter much as there’s almost no chance of them all being occupied anyway. On most visits there won’t be more than one or two in use.
After you get cleaned up you can dip in the pool (fully nude) or head over to get yourself a pair of shorts and a robe. Unfortunately at Emperor you are given a robe by a young guy and the shorts are much too short. They look like something out of a 1980’s made-for-tv movie staring Bruce Jenner. With everything Macau’s saunas offer it may seem a little ridiculous or trivial to complain about something like this but as always I have to compare the place with other similar setups. If this sauna was in New York I’d probably be happy even if they gave me a Speedo thong. It’s all relative.
The lounge at Emperor is huge. It’s at least as big as any other I’ve seen in town. That’s a good thing since it means that the likelihood of you sitting next to or directly across from another guy is low. As large and accommodating as the Emperor Sauna is, I’ve never seen it get really crowded. That could just be luck but after a few visits I think it may be more of a sign of how things regularly go there. I’ve heard that it was incredibly busy around a decade ago but my first visit came much later than that so I can’t really comment.
All you have to do now is chose one of the dozens of reclining chairs and relax. There are televisions around the lounge that broadcast either in Chinese or English with Chinese subtitles which you can watch. You can also read, play with your phone or take a snooze. It’s up to you.
As soon as you sit down a female attendant will bring a large towel to cover you with. She will also ask you if you’d like anything to drink. All food and drink is included free so don’t be afraid to have at it. There are menus next to each lounge chair that show you what’s available. The staff at Emperor is mostly Vietnamese and Chinese but quite a few can speak pretty good English. The few who can’t are happy to find someone to translate. The old point and motion also works well to facilitate communication.
While you are relaxing in the lounge you can (and should) partake in some of the various services. It won’t be long before attendants come around and ask you if you’d like a foot massage or something similar, but if you’re impatient you can also call over an attendant or male manager to tell them what you’re looking for. There are numerous services available. Most are listed on the menu (just like the food) with prices indicated.
Some of the services on offer are self-explanatory. Foot massage, head massage and pedicures are exactly what they sound like. The “thigh massage” is a little different. With this option the attendant will place a big towel over your mid section and sit between your legs facing you. She will then reach under the towel and slide your shorts down just a little bit. Following that she will lube up her hands, reach back under the towel and began to slowly massage your thighs, balls and rod. This will be sensually and carefully as to insure that she does not extract your load before the sauna can extract some more of your cash. One round of this service runs 25 minutes. The rate comes out to be somewhere around 20 US dollars per session.
It’s always good to mix and match treatments when visiting a Macau sauna to get the maximum level of enjoyment. At Emperor you can get a really good combo going with one gals rubbing your head and chest, another rubbing your man meat and two more working one foot and calf a piece. It’s hard to explain just how pleasurable this feels. It’s something you really have to experience to know.
The range of services of each attendant is indicated by the clothing they wear. Those in dark red outfits do manicures, pedicures and foot massages. Those in the pink outfits do the thigh massages. Those in the light green outfits do foot massages. You can chose those you like or simply take whoever comes along. At Emperor almost all of the floor service providers are from Vietnam. The thigh massage girls are typically younger and more attractive than the others, though considering what they do looks are not the most important factor.
Every sauna in Macau offers some form of the thigh massage. Though the name may be different, the international hand gestures remain the same. What I like about the women who work the cock caressing circuit at Emperor is that they each seem to have their own unique style and approach. Some use a nice mild lotion while others use baby oil. All are very good at what they do, as are the other service staff.
Whenever you are ready you can ask for a lineup of the girls on staff available for full service. A less expensive massage with hand job finish is also available but the real action comes with the full on fun and its not that much more expensive.
One complaint I have about Emperor is the way the line up is done. At some other places when you call for a line up the girls available show up almost instantly right in front of you, so you don’t have to do as much as get out of your chair. At Emperor you sometimes have to wait a few minutes and then when the manager says its time you have to get out of your chair and head over to the pool area when the gals gather. I know this may sound like another small issue but again I want to put things in perspective. I am comparing this spa with other similar spas, not a thirty dollar jack shack in Ohio.
With that whinge out of the way I will say that Emperor has a pretty good line up, even during off hours. The majority of the women that work there are from Vietnam but other Asian countries are represented. Even in the middle of the afternoon there should be at least two dozen women available. At night that number increases by as much as 100 percent. The women are all attractive. Some are real stars. None are over thirty and most are much closer to 20, with plenty of 19-year-olds on staff for the young at heart.
The available women will stand in a line wearing some sort of sexy outfits with attached numbers (during my last visit they were in very skimpy bikinis). Their hair and makeup is always impeccable. There’s no need to rush to a decision. You can take your time and make your choice. You can also talk to the manager if you have any questions about the girls or the meaning of the colors of their badges. Once you’ve made a selection give your number to the manager and he’ll write it down. You’ll be asked if you’d like any of the additional options like various gels or costumes. The woman you chose will head off and you will go back to the lounge to wait a few moments for her to get ready.
When your lady of the hour comes back she’ll take you by the hand and lead you past the dining area and into one of the ready made romper rooms. These rooms are medium sized and well laid out. They have mirrors on a wall next to the bed and another on the ceiling. There is a flat screen television with a porn channel. There is also a shower room off to the side, closed in by glass. In the room you’ll undress and then be taken into the shower room.
The shower table at the Emperor Sauna is pretty unique. The top half looks like a normal table but the bottom half is split into two “legs” to allow the service provider easy access to your goods.
Each woman who works in a sauna has their own routine but all are quite good. Some are absolutely excellent. As always your mileage may vary and sometimes it just comes down to chemistry or how the woman is feeling that day, but under no circumstance should you receive anything even approaching bad service.
After several visits to Emperor I can say that the full service has always been spectacular. The last time I went I was in a bit of a rush with an airplane to catch so I chose a beautiful young and busty Vietnamese woman who kept eye contact with me during “showtime.” When I got in the room I was a little disappointed as it appeared I had chosen the only full service girl in a Macau sauna I’ve ever known to have had a baby. I’m not totally sure she actually did as her body was tight (and I mean that in every way) but she did have the faintest of marks on her belly. Again this may sound like a ridiculously judgmental outlook but you have to remember that I’m talking about saunas where nearly all women have very good to very great bodies. Anyway as it turns out the girl delivered some of the best service I have ever received anywhere.
My back was soaped up as usual, first by hand then by her sliding her big soapy boobies and ass all over my body. Then she proceeded to the standard cat bath (licking and kissing) all over. Some sauna girls will lick your ass but it usually doesn’t more than a few seconds. This woman was down there for a good five minutes. If she spent any more time or went any deeper she might even have hit pay dirt. When I was flipped over I was treated to even more slipping and sliding. That was followed by some of the best oral I have ever received — and lots of it.
After being washed up we moved to the bed where I received plenty more oral, including the famous “hot and cold” blowjob which involves hot tea and cold water. It feels good when it’s done well and out of this world when it’s done very well. This girl was an expert and the oral action kept going and going, well above and beyond the already-fantastic typical call of duty.
That was followed by her sliding the condom on with her mouth and us going at it in several different positions until the first phone ring (which indicates that time is almost up). I finished and we laid together chatting in broken English until the final ring indicating it was time to go. There still wasn’t any rush to get out. She washed me off, dried me up and helped me get dressed again before leading back down the hallway. A great time.
The best thing about this service is that it’s pretty much typical at Emperor. The staff knows what its doing, from the full service gals on down to the cleaning women.
Some final comments about Emperor follow. The floor management is just okay. In my opinion they are the weak point in the operation since they can’t speak English well at all and are a little too cold and mechanical. The food menu is decent. They have more than some other places and they deliver good serving sizes. The only problem is that some of the options aren’t that tasty. Of course this is just my opinion. A real positive is that the English on their menus and signage actually makes sense which is more than can be said for some other operations.
When it comes to prices, the saunas of Macau are not cheap. That said they represent a great value considering everything you get. Emperor is one of the pricier saunas in the city but its rates are still within reason. I don’t have a copy of the extensive menu but I can give you an idea of what you will spend. A session of six hours or so with plenty of food and drinks eaten, a few rounds of dick tugs, shoulder massages and foot rubs, and a full service romp with a hot Vietnamese or Taiwanese woman will run you about 3600 Hong Kong Dollars, which comes out to around $464 US. That’s only a little more than you’d pay for two hour-or-less sessions at a Korean massage parlor in New York, but you’re getting much more of an experience and a much higher level of service.
As a good example of a standard Macau men’s sauna with a staff that knows how to deliver almost anything you could want I give the Emperor a solid four and a half stars. This is a very high rating for this site and I rarely give them out. The only five star review I have written thus far went to Sarah Leegh in Seoul. Emperor is not far behind. That should really tell you something.
Emporer Sauna. No 51 Rua de Xangai, Emperor Hotel. Open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Telephone: 2878 6696. Click here for map of Macau’s adult entertainment venues.