Review: Dream Teen — Pattaya, Thailand

Dream Teen Massage VIP room

The VIP room isn’t a five star penthouse, but it is clean.

I’ve spent a considerable amount of time and energy writing about oily massage parlors in Bangkok, though I have not really begun to scratch the surface of that large section of the industry. As of yet I haven’t written of any oily massage parlors in Pattaya. Considering that the latter is more well known as a travel destination for guys I think it’s time that changes.

Despite being a major center of adult entertainment Pattaya isn’t necessarily a center of oily massage activity. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of massage parlors of all kinds around and several of the dozen or more that line Soi Honey and Soi Chaiyapoon could probably be considered oily massage parlors but there aren’t many straightforward shops that totally follow the operating procedures of the oilies in the capital.

Dream Teen Massage on Soi 21 just off of Soi Bukhao operates a lot like any oily massage in Bangkok would, minus the ladies sitting outside calling out to guys who pass by. The place is easy enough to find. Customers who can get themselves to Soi 21 won’t be able to miss the storefront and clear signage.

Inside customers are met by a female manager. The lobby is a bit small but it’s fine for the purpose. Customers are shown a long price list and asked to make a selection. Prices are standard for the industry, varying for length of time and room time. The cheapest option is a one hour oil massage in a standard room for 400 Baht ($12.50 US). The most expensive is a two hour massage in a suite with two ladies for 1500 Baht ($47 US).  Tips are not included and payment is usually asked for upfront.

Once a customer makes a choice one of the women on staff will emerge to take them to a room upstairs. The women are staff are generally fit and somewhere in their twenties. Most are attractive. There are plenty of photos on the Dream Teen website but I don’t know how often they are updated.

If a customer doesn’t ask to select a gal of his own choosing he will be get whoever is on deck next. Only if he specifically asks for a lineup to see who is available will get that.

The facilities at Dream Teen are nice enough. The place is obviously a converted house but it’s got the room and facilities to make it a professional operation. The standard rooms are good enough to get the job done and they’re certainly no worse than some of the terrible setups that exist elsewhere. The VIP rooms are nice and clean even if they might not be what one imagines when they hear the term “VIP.”

The massages performed at Dream Teen are actually pretty good. These are life changing professional rub downs learned through years of strenuous study at ancient Thai massage academies but they’re no worse than what’s given at most of the mainstream massage parlors around town either. Since the music isn’t piped in the masseuses often bring their own stereos and play “relaxing” music straight from the top-40. When the masseuses don’t bring their own music it still manages to find its way inside from a nearby beer bar where local crooners belt of their renditions of hit songs.

Once the massage is done the masseuse will move on to the special part of the massage with the clients permission. All of the standard rates apply, which means that hands on service is 500 Baht ($16 US), oral service is 1000 Baht ($31 US) and full service is 1500 Baht. This is given in the form of a tip after the massage has ended but it’s more of a required fee than a form of gratuity. Dream Teen is a bit different from other shops in that these pricing guidelines are usually given by the masseuse whereas in Bangkok its often folded into the total price or expected that the punter already knows the prevailing rates.

The women who work at Dream Teen know what they’re doing from beginning to end. While it’s impossible to rate an entire staff on their service one can get a general idea of how things work. I doubt many customers would complain about the service they’re given.

Dream Teen Massage is a good example of a clean and well run oily massage parlor. They really can’t be faulted for much of anything at all. They offer no nonsense services in a city where many others try to nickle and dime visitors to death. That said, Dream Teen isn’t a world class facility either. If it was located in Bangkok and competing with places like Bamboo it would probably deserve an average score. In Pattaya I think it deserves a slightly higher score of three stars.

Dream Teen Massage, Soi 21, Pattaya, Thailand. Open seven days a week from 10:00 AM to midnight. Phone: 033411105. Website: http://www.dream-teen-pattaya.com Map on website

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