Review: Deluxe Health Spa — Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

The Deluxe Health Spa is a good example of what a full service massage parlor looks like in Kuala Lumpur. Located inside of the Federal Kuala Lumpur Hotel on Jalan Bukit Bintang the Deluxe is easy to find and even easier to navigate.

There are a number of similar massage parlors throughout the city. I don’t have any specific information about the owners but it seems likely that many of the spas are connected since they often advertise each other with business cards displayed near the cashiers.

The Deluxe is on the ground floor of the Federal Kuala Lumpur. To access it one only need to pass through the hotel’s main entrance and walk straight head until they see a sign advertising the spa over a stairway that leads to the basement. Once inside punters are greeted by a manager who takes them into one of several small rooms.

The rooms are smokey but clean and fitted with reclining lounge chairs and televisions. Depending on how busy the place is at the time a manager may come inside immediately or after a few minutes.

Once in the room the manager will give an overview of the prices. First a low rate is given for a regular massage then a list of higher rates is given for full service in hushed tones. Even though places like this operate openly Malaysia is still an outwardly conservative country where certain things are best kept concealed. The prices for adult massage range from 230 to 300 Ringgit ($73-95 US) depending on the country of origin of the masseuse. Women from China make up the biggest share of the massage staff but a few other countries are also represented and there are even a handful of local gals.

After the punter indicates the type of massage they’d like they can either tell the manager what kind of gal they’d like, ask to see the gals from a particular country, or simply asked to see a lineup of all of the available ladies. The last option gives the best opportunity to chose someone attractive.

Since the rooms are so small the ladies cannot all come in at once as they would in a Macau sauna. Instead the dozen or so women file in one by one giving a smile and a nod before heading back out. The manager will say their names as they enter but they come and go so fast that it soon turns into a womanly whirlwind. If a guy is sharp enough to remember the name of the lady he’d like he can simply say it when the time comes. If not he can give a description or even ask to see the ladies again.

The Deluxe isn’t so “deluxe” looking. It’s located in a basement with low ceilings, it smells strongly of cigarette smoke and it shows strong signs of wear and tear. Despite all of that the women on staff are some of the most pleasant of any working in a similar facility. I can’t tell you why that is. Places with line ups very often have women working who look like they’d rather be anywhere else in the world. At Deluxe it’s common to see big bright smiles.

That’s not to say that they are super models. Most of the women on staff are average in looks and shape. Ages range from the mid to late twenties. There don’t seem to be any really unattractive women on staff but most of the gals probably wouldn’t be good looking enough to fit into a line up at a place like Famile Nobre either.

Once a punter selects his masseuse he’ll pay at the front desk before being led by the hand to a massage room. These rooms are just large enough to fit a king sized bed and a shower. They are only steps away from the lobby and aforementioned waiting rooms and the doors have large glass windows in them that are kept covered with towels. The rooms aren’t the cleanest in the world. They have slightly unpleasant odors of the kind that basements often have and linens that have seen better days. Still they aren’t as bad as some of the truly terrible quarters that exist around the world. To its credit the management at Deluxe has strategically placed large mirrors around the room to make things a little more fun.

Upon entering the room both the customer and the masseuse will get out of their regular clothes to prepare for the shower. Things there are pretty straight forward. There’s nothing like a soapy slide on the menu. After the shower the special services commences. The level of service at a place like this will always depend on the service provider, the customer and any other number of factors. In general it can be said that a good level of service is standard and that a spectacular level of service even appears from time to time.

Once the fun is over another shower usually occurs before things draw to a close. Once everything is set the customer heads back out the door.

As I wrote at the beginning of this review, Deluxe is a good example of this kind of Kuala Lumpur massage parlor. It isn’t any better or worse than most of the others like it in the same city. On a world scale it’s not all that great but it’s not terrible either. Credit has to be given to such a straight forward and easy to find place in a town where things can sometimes be difficult. I give it a solid three stars.

Deluxe Health Spa. Lower Ground, The Federal Hotel, Jalan Bukit Bintang, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Open 7 days a week from 10 AM to 6 AM.

19 Comments

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