Review: Clinic — Pattaya, Thailand **Closed**
Note: Clinic has closed. Thanks to Steve for the heads up and others on the ground who confirmed the sad news.
There are plenty of go go bars in Thailand. In the world famous city of Pattaya the main strip of agogos lies on the well-known Walking Street. As Walking Street continues to fill up with family tourists (odd, I know) and group tours of people who have no interest in the go go bars whatsoever, the prudent punter becomes more likely to look elsewhere to get his fill of fun.
Walking Street isn’t the only action in town. Far from it. There are a number of go go bars on LK Metro and plenty of other scattered around town. On Soi 7 just off of Beach Road there is a little go go bar called Clinic that has become very good at what it does.
Clinic is a very easy place to find. It’s situated between a number of beer bars only a minute or two on foot from Central Pattaya Road or the beach. Even though it sports a big neon sign overhead and another on the front wall, it can be easily missed since its a little on the small side and surrounded by more shops chock full of women than a professional football team could shake its collective dicks at.
I first found Clinic when my eye was drawn to a beautiful young woman standing on its front patio dressed in a skimpy nurse outfit beckoning me inside. “Come inside sir, welcome.” I’ve been around the world and dipped my wick in enough muff to fill several erotic memoirs. As this site shows I also have a lot of experience in sultry sex spots. Because of that it’s not very easy for a door girl to attract my attention in a place like Pattaya. When I tell you that the gal calling me in looked fucking amazing, I mean it. When I stepped inside I was happy with my decision.
Clinic is the perfect size for its location. There are usually at least a few women waiting outside at most times of the night trying to attract passing customers. Inside there is a single stage with seating lining both walls. Toward the back is a bathtub that is home to fun and erotic shower shows with one or two women. Behind the bathtub are the DJ booth, bar, bathrooms and changing room.
The ownership of Clinic didn’t go too far in pursuing the medical theme. The cross on the sign and the occasional nurses outfit are as far as things go in that regard. The white walls may have been intended to play into it as well but there are certainly not sterile. None of this really matters though as anyone who enters will quickly have their eyes pointed at either the stage or the shower show. On my first visit it was both, which left me looking as if I was watching a tennis match at Wimbledon.
I’ve been to Clinic a few times and there were usually around a dozen girls dancing. They switch up every few minutes as most places do so it doesn’t take too long to see everyone on staff. If you’re impatient you could simply look at the front patio and in the corner near the door as that’s where the women sit when they’re not on stage or in the water.
You may be wondering why I would think a go go bar with only twelve dancers was something worth mentioning in a city like Pattaya. That’s understandable. One reason is that the majority of the women working at Clinic are gorgeous, with tight pert bodies that could get the softest guy stiff. Another reason is that most of the dancers are at least topless when on stage. When one or two slide into the tub the real fun can begin assuming there are some customers around to inspire the bathing beauties to perform.
It seems that nudity is becoming tougher and tougher to find in Thai agogos as time goes on. Since the women working these bars are available for short time takeout it can be hard to figure out why. I stopped thinking about that conundrum when I started to smell smoke. All that matters is that it’s on all display at Clinic which helps customers to avoid any push-up bra driven surprises or at least gives them a little more value for their entertainment dollar if they just stop in to have a look.
Not all of the women who work at Clinic will drop top. It seems that one or two keep their bras on. I’m not exactly sure why that is as some of them are also quite beautiful and fit. Maybe they are shy. Maybe they think they are “spotlight dancers” or something. Who knows? I’ve only ever seen one slightly chubby gal dancing at Clinic and she was still quite cute. There is a distinct lack of baby belly among the girls that dance at Clinic and that’s also notable.
Finally, the main thing that makes Clinic stand out are its available rooms located right upstairs. It isn’t the only go go that has rooms to use, but along with places like The Kitten Club and The Strip it is one of only a few. These make it quite easy to go for a short time romp without having to deal with taking a girl out of the bar and finding your way to your hotel. The rate for a room is 400 Baht ($13) which is added on top of the average priced drinks and barfine rates when customers settle their bills on the way out. With motorcycle taxis asking foreigners for as much as 150 Baht for a short ride, staying on site can actually offer a cost savings. I didn’t know about the rooms until my second or third visit so it’s not something that’s openly advertised on the walls, but simply asking about them should be all it takes to get one.
I’ve heard the owner hangs around the club, but I haven’t met him so I have no comment other than to say he seems to know what he is doing. The waitstaff isn’t the best looking in town but they are kind and good at their jobs and with a dozen sexy women bouncing their perky tatas around on stage who is going to be looking at waitresses anyway?
As a small but well staffed go go bar in Pattaya with rooms on premises I give Clinic Agogo a very strong three and a half stars. It’s not the greatest go go bar in history but it’s a damn decent place.
Clinic Agogo. Soi 7, Pattaya, Thailand. Open seven days a week from 7 pm – 1 am. No website. Click here for a map.